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Day 984

billygirl

183 views

What better time than Lent to give up all the things you enjoy eating? I know I'm a couple of days late, but I've decided to give it a proper shot. Another attempt - yet another attempt - at clearing my skin up and feeling vaguely good about myself.

I thought I'd share a little history. I've dug out some pictures of me over the last 19 years. The early ones are blurry (35mm scans), but you get the general idea. My acne has rarely been classed as severe, but it's been with me my whole life. It's always been around my nose, lips and chin. I avoided cameras for months when it was at its worst, so these pictures aren't the most representative. My spots have always been horrible for relationships - kissing anyone always made them stand out more. They have gotten smaller as I've gotten older, but somehow more numerous.

So.

Here's the ridiculous regimen I'm going to follow in order to look like a normal person. For the next 6 weeks:

1. No meat or fish
2. No dairy or eggs
3. No sugar (cakes, chocolate, etc.)
4. No fruit
5. No stupid breakfast cereals (like cornflakes or Rice Krispies)
6. Drink more water
7. Eat tons of everything else so that I'm not hungry
8. Blog here like a maniac to stay on track

I feel miserable even at the thought of it.

Here's how it's going to go:

Stage 1: The early days will be okay, just tiring.
Stage 2: Then the depression and moods and irritability and headaches set in. I will cry and hate everything. This will last until day 14.
Stage 3: Then I will get a cold or the flu.
Stage 4: Then the cravings will be unbearable.
Stage 5: Then I'll be on an even keel and I will start thinking that ONE treat will be okay because I can control it (but it never is just one).
Stage 6: Then some life event will come along that will make me think f*ck this, and I'll give up, and binge on wine and chocolate.

I never got any further than that. But here I am again, giving it another go. Six weeks - what's six weeks after 30 years of acne? And what better time to do a 6 week detox than on the 30th anniversary of turning into a zitty teenager?

Did you know at school the other girls used to call me pizza-face? Yep. Horrible, isn't it?

So when I think about giving up, I'm going to re-read this post and remind myself why the hell I am putting myself through 6 weeks of utter shite, eating food that makes me miserable and feeling utterly crap, when eating is the only thing that I actually get any joy out of these days.

It's because I want fabulously smooth, clear skin.

For once in my life.
 

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