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week 4



Happy Halloween!

So I went to my doc and she said the 20mg is all she wants to do right now. I'm not sure if she is educated on the cumulative dosage, relapse rates etc and I wasn't in the mood at that moment to discuss with her and show research data. I am looking at a year if I stay at this dose as well as a higher rate of release according to the research. I'm ok with it for another month as my body continues to get used to the drug and minimizing breaking out but I want the best chance at not relapsing too. Maybe she thinks that because it's localized to my chin and only a couple a month that this dose is ok. I'll have to have a better discussion next month. 

Week 4- 20mg split dose. Tried to find research on split vs. single dose and not much out there. I found one that concluded it doesn't make a difference. 
I am sooooo TIRED. I'm falling asleep around 8 and quite exhausted through the day. This might be a positive to only taking one dose at night; less exhaustion. My hands are quite dry but nothing lotion won't help. My face is drying out and i'm having to moisturize more. My skin is less smooth this week and more tiny little bumps with itchy skin. The purging of blackheads is still happening on my chin. not sure whether to squeeze them, leave them, or maybe get those blackhead strips and try that? No new cysts which is the ultimate goal of mine. I can deal with the little spots but not the cysts. It's way too early to celebrate and every morning and really every time I look in the mirror I have a fear of finding a new bump that I know will turn into a cyst. I still have a decent bump from the one a week and a bit ago and a tiny bump from a cyst 3 weeks ago. I got my period this week and if I can go from period to period without a cyst, then I will be one happy human with less fear! Ha.  My boyfriend's Birthday party and an important work party of his are this upcoming weekend and I'm just hoping so much that I can at least experience this weekend without shame, embarrassment and low self-esteem.   


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