Hi guys... I feel a little bit stupid honestly for making my 1 month update sound so great. I truly felt like It looked alot better. I went to my parents house 2 days later after making this post and I ended up crying a ton to my mom about how much worse I felt like it looked. The lighting at my parents house is much brighter & every acne mark and pimple stuck out so much and was so red. Before I started Spiro I went there with no makeup & it looked better than now. It looks worse than the start. I know this is so common. I just thought my initial breakout was over, but my cheeks are continuing to purge AND my forehead has TONS of tiny pimples all over it. I feel like I did in middle school & it feels traumatic. I dread foundation. I can see the acne more when I wear it, but I still look better to other people and feel like I would not look professional without it because of all the red marks. I accepted a Nanny gig the rest of this week and it is all day Tuesday-Friday. I hate feeling like I have to wear makeup. I love wearing it when my skin is all clear and I feel like I am using it for fun & to enhance my natural beauty. When I have acne, I feel like all it looks like is a failed attempt at covering up a bunch of gross bumps. I can't get over the fact it was flawless 2 months ago. I have been dealing with grief and depression severely & initial breakouts really really make that worse. I have thoughts like...I should've never started it because It just looks worse than the start and I have to wait months for it to maybe go back to normal. Acne causes so much negativity in my thoughts. I am a completely different woman when I had clear skin. I swear it affects every aspect of my life. I can't stop looking in mirrors and observing every imperfection. I am trying to be positive but I am so impatient. I am amazed it has already been 1 month though. It did fly by. I hope the next two months fly by and I start seeing a big difference. I hope my 3 month appointment is not me crying and upset but positive and seeing clear skin in my near future. When I said my skin had no active serious breakouts a few days ago...I swear they were just preparing to erupt or something. I just want to see some real improvement that isn't going a step forward and two steps back. I hope by month 2 I will have clear cheeks or a clear forehead. I just want one part of my face clear. I am almost out of my Clindamycin gel and I used it super fast. I over did it. I was thinking about replacing it with my Retina A cream but I stopped using it after I got bad cheek breakouts the day after using it last.I can't bare for it to get worse. I start my period this coming Sunday. 5 days. Maybe it is worse because it is a week before my period? I take out my birth control ring for a week for my period. I like the ring and don't want to switch to a pill. I stayed clear with the ring for a long time. I want to ask about Ortho Tri Cyclen or Tri Sprintec if my acne isn't making big improvements in 4 months max. I know I should have maybe waited for this update at the 1 month and 2 week mark, but I'm keeping it real with you guys. It felt better then it felt way worse.