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Activated Charcoal Take Two



Oh.  My.  God.  Just when I thought that it couldn’t get anymore interesting after the last face mask… IT DID.  It’s mostly my fault.  I have all these idea’s that I think will be so easy and successful, and I overlook small details and it just ends in DISASTER, because I am an illogical fuck (Spock would not approve.)

So, MY ingenious idea was to use a blackhead clearing strip on my nose to sort of open up the tops of the blackheads, then use a charcoal mask mixed my a pink clay one I’ve been using right after, hoping that if the pores were open, maybe it would get more gunk out of my pores.  Has anyone seen those videos for the DIY blackhead mask peel with charcoal and regular old school glue? Because that’s what I did.  Glue on your face? For shame! you say.  Yeah, yeah, I know.  In my defence, I attempted to buy some of the good old Biore nose strips, but I couldn’t find them anywhere in my town.  Maybe they’ve been discontinued? I searched the drugstore for any sort of “blackhead strip” but nada.  Also, I am broke, so if I can make something for free that I’ll probably only use one, sure I’ll save myself the eight bucks.

So I mixed up that glue with the charcoal and put it just on my nose and cheeks.  It took FOR-FUCKING-EVER to dry.  I got so impatient, I finally said, “Fuck it, I have other things to do today, I’ll just peel it off.”  It was mostly dry, and didn’t really hurt to peel off, but nothing came off with it.  No blackheads, no dead skin, no hairs… NOTHING.  So I just wasted twenty minutes.

Moving on, I then applied my pink clay mask mixed with activated charcoal.  Threw some saran wrap on my face (so sexy), had my cat look at me like I’m nuts, then proceeded to clean my oven while the mask sat for another twenty minutes.  (I swear, after all these face mask experiments, even if my skin still looks like shit, my house will be clean.  This seems to be the only way to get me to do housework.)

THEN I proceeded to wash it off.  Now, just to interrupt here, but the last time I did this, the charcoal took a while, but it eventually loosened and came off.  Thought it would be the same this time… WRONG.  So wrong.  You see, my pink clay mask has honey as the second ingredient, and the honey clung to my face with the charcoal like… well a mask, I guess.  An impermeable mask.  I began to panic, wondering what I had done to myself.  I had to go to coffee at my Grandma’s today, followed by picking my boyfriend up from work.  I couldn’t let them see me like this! My dark secrets of the strange things I get up to when home alone would be exposed! May I also mention, the charcoal clung to the hair of my eyebrows, making them look as dark as an angry Russians.  Eventually, after much scrubbing, a thousand cotton pads and a siruis skinsonic thing all over my face, I started to see skin again.  I then used more cotton pads and some micellliar water to get the remainder off.  My skinsonic brush head may now be stained grey, all the towels in my house stained, my soul as black as the activated charcoal, but I had finally gotten it all off of my face.  Jesus Christ, what an ordeal.  As good as the charcoal is, having to rub and irritate your face that much can’t be beneficial.  I’m going to give my skin a few days and see if it either a.) gets better or b.) deteriorates faster than radioactive decay.

Will I give up on the charcoal? NO.  It truly is good for clearing out your pores, I just need to find a way that’s less messy and time consuming.  From start to finish, those two face masks I applied took an entire hour to put on, wait, then remove.  I ain’t got time for that shit!

So, for my NEW, devised plan of facemask insanity, I’m going to stick to my pink clay mask on the weekends, and then try JUST the charcoal midweek.  No cling wrap, no sticking the mask over every square inch of my face, just on the areas that need it, and mist it with water to keep it from flaking off.  I also have ordered some activated charcoal soap, which I plan to wash my face with twice a week or so (since it can be drying.)

While I babble about this charcoal business, I tried brushing my teeth with it last week to “whiten” them.  Can’t say it did shit for that, but man were my teeth smooth.  If you ever had braces as a kid and remember how smooth your teeth felt after they were finally off? Yeah, THAT feeling.  They still feel smooth even after a week, so I may continue to do that every two weeks to a month.  

As for the charcoal as a hangover cure, I went skiing last week, and me and the boyfriend kicked back with a few (alright, more like ten or twenty) cold ones afterwards.  I administered the charcoal (two pills each) sometime that evening (can’t exactly remember when, but close-ish to bedtime.)  I went to sleep, had a shit, alcohol-withdrawal, heart-booming-like-a-kettle-drum induced night where I probably slept three hours and laid awake thinking I was dying for the remaining five, but I felt okay in the morning.  No headache, no super terrible feelings, just the usual meh of your garden-variety hangover, in which I had no drive to do anything but eat greasy food and sit on my couch all day.  I am one to get VERY hungover, VERY easily, so I will say that this did help, since I drank less water than I should have, and got a very shitty sleep.  My boyfriend, on the other hand, was super hungover (and he usually doesn’t get that hungover.)  It’s possible it’s because he stayed awake longer than me and drank more, or maybe he needed more than two little pills (since he is approximately three times the size of me.)  But hey, I think I’m going to keep throwing those pills back at the end of a night of drinking, for now at least.  They don’t do any harm.

As for how my skin fares from the vigorous rubbing and exfoliating to get the mask off, we shall see.  We shall see indeed.


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