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6 Days Herbal Medicine

HarleyZ

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It's been 6 days since I started taking this mysterious herbal medicine. The acne on my lower face exploded. I don't what the cause was. Changing of the environment? Herbal medicine? Herbal baths? Stress? Delayed response to BP withdrawal?... I can't imagine two weeks ago my face was mostly clear....Now when I wash my face, I can feel tiny bumps everywhere, like needles, poking at my fingertips. This is devastating. 
A few minutes ago when I was washing my face, mom walked by and asked, are you upset? I said, no. But of course deep inside I just wanted to cry. She said, good, don't be upset. It'll get better soon.
I didn't say a word. I was afraid if I did, I'd break down and cry.
Nothing is working for me. Everything I've been using makes the situation worse for me. Ironically, I had the least amount of acne when I was suffering from eczema a month ago. There was not a single pimple on my face. Now my face is literally a minefield. 
I am currently on break. School starts in 3 weeks. I don't see the situation get any better in 3 weeks. Ha. Mom keeps saying, it'll be alright by the time you go back to school. Well how would you know? What if it keeps getting worse? What scares me the most is that acne appears out of nowhere. My face turned from a presentable piece to a horror movie within 3 days...and as it is slowly healing, more lesions keep popping out. If this keeps happening, soon my confidence will be back in the toilet, like it was for the majority of this year. 
I'm scared of going back to school. I hate wearing makeup. I dread putting on even the least amount of BB cream or concealer. My skin dose not like makeup. I mean how could any unhealthy skin like being covered up by greasy thick synthetic shit? Mine turns into a shiny mask of grease and dirt within 2 hours of applying any makeup at all. BUT, how could I present my face to the whole world to see given the state it is currently at? I hate this. I hate looking at my face and thinking 50 steps ahead. I hate listening to my family telling me "it's not that bad" or "it's getting better" or "nobody cares, just live your life." I would trade acne with depression, or asthma - something not visible on my face. I feel the whole world is against me, especially after my attempt at the regimen failed miserably and I am now back to square one, maybe even a free more steps back, square minus three. 
Last night I went on a walk with mom and talked to her, for the first time, about the psychological toll my skin problem has been taking on me, ever since ten years ago. So many people have said mean things about my acne, including my "best friend" in high school, who asked me to put on more concealer during dinner. I put up with those, but recently I can't hold up anymore. I am my own worst enemy. I cannot bear looking at myself anymore. If other people's mean words are swords, then my own negative thoughts are nukes. I feel like I am slowly falling apart, and this feeling is the strongest every morning when I have to go through my routine of cleaning my face.
I just got accepted to one of the best universities in the US for a PhD in chemistry. I should be happy! Happy! But how could I give my peak performance when I'm daily drenched in self-hate? 



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I know you hate to hear it but - it will get better! 
What is your age? Anything between 12-20? Between that age it is normal with hormonal acne. If you are older then it might be other reasons such as stress, diet, any other pills/vitamins and many, many other things. It is hard to say what exactly caused the problem. I am suffering from acne too and my head has gone crazy the last month. I would reccomend antibiotics. It will reduse the inflammation and kill the acne bacteria (by time heal your acne). If you want a safer but at the same time harder pill, it is accutane. It will clear it all up within 3 months but the side effects are too many. Try to avoid acne creams, they are mostly bullshit. Try to put on aloe vera on your skin (every night before going to bed) it is a really good supplement for your skin! try to eat much fruit as possible like apple and stuff (it also helps your skin).
Hit me up if you need any help, ill do my best :) 
good luck and let me know updates 

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@Adeel2111
I'm seeing the doctor again this afternoon. Usually it takes up to 3 months for the effects of herbal medicine to build up enough to be noticeable...I know that healing takes a lot of time, although getting a breakout takes no time at all. I am trying very hard not to worry about my look. It'll get better. I have to believe this. 
Whenever I feel really terrible, I'd put on some music and read a book. If that doesn't work, going to bed would be my last resort. Sleeping everything off works pretty well when I'm emotionally drained from thinking about my misfortune. What strategies do you use to overcome the psychological effects of having acne? Do they work well? 

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How was it with doctor today? 
Indeed, it takes time for the medicine to show good results. Since this is such a desperate situation for almost everyone it is hard to see results because of the time it takes. You have to believe it because it is going to happen, keep my promis. One day you will look back at these posts and tell yourself "Oh, gladly I am over that messed up situation". You have good methods to ignore your thoughts. I personally like to be with my bestfriends when I am having a bad time but honestly, I cant face my friends.. Having eyecontact with them or anyone just makes me more depressed. So I just play videogames since I know noone will see me trough that or just watch some videos/series. Just try not to think about it, like that you feel notice the difference in a shorter period. It is hard, pretty much impossbile for many people including me but keep on trying. 

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@Adeel2111
The doctor asked me to take herbal baths to get rid of the toxin in my body. I'll keep taking the herbal medicine... Well nobody knows how long exactly it will take for me to get clear skin. My problem is clearly not just skin-deep. There's something terribly wrong with my internal organs. Sigh. 
I totally understand how you don't want to hang out with friends anymore. i'v only let my best friend see my bare face. I trust no one else. It is really frustrating, because there's no room for camping, late-night partying , going to the beach, or sleepover. However, if we look at it from the opposite perspective, having acne gives us a lot of time to be with ourselves, and to become thinkers. But I do think that there are many other ways that could lead to becoming a thinker. Acne is a difficult one.

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