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Adeel

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Acne - depression

Adeel2111

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Heyaaa! I hope you are doing fine :)
So, out of nowhere I felt like posting my experience with acne. Well, I recently turned 17 and dealt with acne last winter and again this winter. At summertime my face is clean as a baby but at wintertime I do not really know why but I break-out badly. I know many people will blame my age, but let us face it, age may be the reason but there are for sure other things as well. You can not say "Oh, my grandmother passed away after heartattack, she was too old" there are reasons behind the heartattack except the age. Age matters but there are a lot of other things which are able to cause the issue. 

I am not a fan of heartbreak, and by that heartbreak isn't only about relationships. Heartbreak can be caused by family problems, other problems in life, things you are unhappy with and things that appears unexpectedly. It all sucks but sadly it is a part of life. In this case, I am heartbroken in a way, it is attacking my mental health. 

Since my childhood I have never had confidence but after I started high school I have learned how to built confidence and be able to speak to people I am attracted to (Women). Gym helped it all, it boosted my confidence pretty much. Last year when I had acne break-outs my confidence started to drop, when I finally was able to raise it. Boom, again I started to feel like shit like I have felt since day 1. Now, as the breakout is back again, I haven't been at school for like 1 week because of my face. My excuse is "I am sick." 

Acne has really pushed me down. I know people say "It is just acne, it will get over" but that's what they say, but what are their actual thoughts? I doubt they think the same. When I am outside I can't  look at any places except the ground, you know why? I prefer to look at nothing just to make sure no one looks at me. Honestly, my acne isn't anything too bad, but still it kills me. I am so tired of it and my doctor does not do shit except saying "It will get over just be patient." I am a guy who loves to workout and build muscle. I have never skipped gym for more than 2 days in a whole year... But my acne is pushing me away from it. It is not like acne is gonna take my life if I go to gym but when people look at me over and over again, that kills me. I am tired of it and I have had some bad thoughts lately. I feel kinda depressed because of it and my thoughts havent been so great. I havent met any of my friends for the past month because I can not handle their jokes about my face, so I have avoided every party and hangouts. So far I have tried some creams. I even went to  dermatologist but honestly, they couldn't care less about my situation. All she said was "Try this cream and it will get better." Of course, I used it for 2 months and it just got worse (last year). Now I am on Tetracycline Actavis if I wrote it right. It is starting to get better (Used for one week so far). Im just hoping for the best. 

Thank you for reading :)



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I totally understand your struggle. Even mild acne and PIH makes me super self conscious. I also have been going through hell to renormalize my skin after irritating products and dehydration. It sounds like you're suffering from the latter if your breakouts get way worse from climate change. Have you invested in good skin care and a moisturizer? Changing products can make the world of difference and really reduce acne.

Every human being has their own individual struggle to grapple with in life and the depression of acne is valid. One person's pain isn't more significant than another person's, IMO. So, it always bother me when people say 'you could have it worse'...well, this MY lowest point. I don't want to compare myself to others hurting in different ways to feel better about acne. :-I I get you. 

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Indeed man. I have tried many different products and my acne is starting to heal now, finally. I hope when I get back to school it is better than what it was before. My overall acne is getting better but I just got a huge acne spot on my cheek. The worst part is when I look at myself in mirror with brightness. I often turn the lights off to minimum when I look at the mirror, otherweise it hurts. The case it feels like everyone is staring at you in public, oh man, I dont know how to explain that feeling... And btw what do you mean by "from the latter"? I breakout only when its winter, otherweise ive been doing pretty good

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I feel you Adeel. I was using 10 AHA for a long time and it was working beautifully but i wanted to step up my skin game and get better results so i upgraded to 15 AHA. My skin is going through that ugly purging period and I cannot stand it! I'm going home for the holidays and whilst i'm exciting to see my family, I cannot help but feel like I dont want to go there and show my face. Was skyping with my parents today and my dad asked what happened to my face (during our last couple of skype sessions i was wearing makeup because i had just come home from work). What is he going to say when he sees me in person. Had a good cry after that today. Fuck this shit man. 

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@niklaus Do not worry, time will heal. Indeed it sucks, but a part of life sucks, right? I have 3 elder brothers (I am the youngest) . They always make fun of me. In their opinion it is funny but do they really know how I feel? They all tree were sitting in the livingroom today and they asked me why do I never smile or talk lately. My answer was "I feel like I am depressed." They asked "Why, let us help out" My respond was "Because of my face." They all were dying of laughter. For many people it is funny, but only those with the issue knows how it feels. Honestly, it feels so fucked. I would do anything to escape this feeling. The only thing that increases my hope is my mom whom always says it is nothing bad or wrong with it, it is normal and time will heal. 

Remove 15 AHA one and get back to 10 AHA. It must be too strong for your skin. Not everything will give good effects. Most of the products will fuck you up and let you suffer trough the pain. It sucks, really does but what can we do? We are trying pretty much everything, right? It hurts when someone asks why your skin is the way it is. You do not know how to answer that question. Just try not to focus too much on that, this way it will heal quicker. If you think too much about it and feel stressed it will only get worse. I have noticed it. Stress will fuck up your hormones and the results arent pretty. I wish you the best of luck and let me know when you feel good again! 

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Awhh I'm so sorry to hear that. The exact same thing happened with my sister yesterday except she didn't laugh. She doesn't understand how it can cause me to be sooo depressed. She has never had acne so she cannot relate; I don't want her to be able to relate because I wouldn't wish this feeling of constant low self esteem, low self worth and social anxiety on anyone.

Even I thought of doing that but I feel like I'm nearing the end of purge soon (it's almost two months now) so I want to stick to it. Thanks for being so kind and understanding. Wish you the best on your journey too.

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