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Day 6 [Depressed]

Today sucked for a lot of reasons. I've been having a ton of stress from moving soon and not sleeping well and I'm sure that did nothing to help my face. The Neutrogena cleanser is necessary to prevent worse acne, but I'm just so dry...and it's making me way more oily than I ever was, plus cold weather isn't helping.

I haven't looked this bad in at least 2 months. I feel beyond down. I never had this awful cheek acne until I began Spiro and it still hasn't subsided. It's like almost all the cc's are slowly being pushed from under my skin either from cell turnover or the BCP; one became pretty nasty, too. Not to mention the 2 cysts on my chin that refuse to go away along with all the cc's purging there. I broke out in literally every exact spot Spiro made me breakout during ovulation last month and I'm so pissed. I still see at least 10 small bumps on my forehead from Spiro too..and my back still sucks, I woke up with 2 welts. How long before Spiro finally leaves my body?! I've read online for some it can take over 4 weeks. It's hell. It also makes it super hard to tell if it's the BCP or Spiro doing this to me, but considering the fact I still lose 1 brow or lash a day, it's probably Spiro...

I'm so mentally and emotionally prepared for low-dose Accutane, I can't take this anymore. PLEASE say some prayers or send good energy that Accutane doesn't give me terrible SE's because it's my last hope. T-minus 3 weeks till derm appointment, let's hope he gives it to me without giving me a hard time. 
 



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I don't know why I feel like all these hard drugs (as I call it) seem to mess up people's systems way more than help. Did you have relatively clear skin when you started out with acne treatments? How did this all start anyway? I do believe you'll clear up. If all this was started because of spiro, which adjusts your hormones I gather, then things will have to eventually normalize. I'm thinking by the time your appointment comes around, which is perfect, because then the derm can give you an analysis of your actual skin condition and not some drug induced condition. Don't worry, I know exactly how miserable and unhappy you're feeling. I know it'll be okay in a little time! Have faith, I definitely do.

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36 minutes ago, Nishkatt05 said:

I don't know why I feel like all these hard drugs (as I call it) seem to mess up people's systems way more than help. Did you have relatively clear skin when you started out with acne treatments? How did this all start anyway? I do believe you'll clear up. If all this was started because of spiro, which adjusts your hormones I gather, then things will have to eventually normalize. I'm thinking by the time your appointment comes around, which is perfect, because then the derm can give you an analysis of your actual skin condition and not some drug induced condition. Don't worry, I know exactly how miserable and unhappy you're feeling. I know it'll be okay in a little time! Have faith, I definitely do.

Thanks. It's insane how bad Spiro messed me up. I mean I haven't gotten a hardcore back breakout in 3+ years. It all started when I took a really crappy BCP called Microgestin 1.5/30 [very androgenic], I went off it and 6 months later my skin began to go downhill, I tried the OCM which destroyed my face, and a bad cleanser by Mario B which just added to the problem, and it all went downhill even further from that point when I tried red light therapy and antibiotics. It's super depressing since I also caused a lot of the issues myself...I have tons of PIH and some scars now and I feel like subhuman or something. But thanks for having faith in me and being positive. I'm sure that a year from now this will all just be a distant memory. It's not who I really am, this is not meant to be happening to me - I just need better skin care to normalize my face again too. Have you ever gotten a chemical peel by any chance? I was considering an SA-based one. And, do you have the name of those moisturizers you recommended me? I forget. Thank you 

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Reading stuff like this is what makes me scared to go on the bcp. Don't. (About the subhuman thing). I totally understand how you feel but you're not a subhuman and truthfully, I've noticed most people don't care about acne. It's just us. The pih will definitely fade and EVERYONE, I mean EVERYONE, has a couple of pits on their face. You're right when you say your acne doesn't define you, and I (like you) really envy all the clear folks, but in time all of this will be water under the bridge. I haven't ever had a chemical peel but I probably wouldn't do it, I know it works out great for some people though. If your acne covers a good surface area of your face, then perhaps it would be worthy of your time. IF you have big areas of clear skin, I'm not sure I would recommend it. And yes the moisturizers. LRP Baume 5& ciccaplast epidermal recovery accelerator. The ciccaplast is a miracle in a tube; four days in and the redness is totally gone, the wound has closed up and where I thought there would be an indent is level skin!!

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20 hours ago, Nishkatt05 said:

Reading stuff like this is what makes me scared to go on the bcp. Don't. (About the subhuman thing). I totally understand how you feel but you're not a subhuman and truthfully, I've noticed most people don't care about acne. It's just us. The pih will definitely fade and EVERYONE, I mean EVERYONE, has a couple of pits on their face. You're right when you say your acne doesn't define you, and I (like you) really envy all the clear folks, but in time all of this will be water under the bridge. I haven't ever had a chemical peel but I probably wouldn't do it, I know it works out great for some people though. If your acne covers a good surface area of your face, then perhaps it would be worthy of your time. IF you have big areas of clear skin, I'm not sure I would recommend it. And yes the moisturizers. LRP Baume 5& ciccaplast epidermal recovery accelerator. The ciccaplast is a miracle in a tube; four days in and the redness is totally gone, the wound has closed up and where I thought there would be an indent is level skin!!

I think the Sprintec is actually starting to help. Stubborn CC's I've had by the right corner of my mouth for months before I tried anything are finally starting to conjoin and purge. It's a good sign...the purge isn't violent and won't scar. The rest of my face still looks awful from all the PIH marks and cc's coming out but I'm going to be patient and hopefully it'll fade soon. I wanted the peel since Spiro gave me like 12 cc's on my forehead that won't go away for anything, the only way I'll get rid of them is either a peel or extraction tbh. I'm scared...I don't want any more marks or scars. Thanks for the recommendation and support. 

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