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Rant

iamdonelol

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iI'm not even expecting anyone to read this cuz imma just gonna rant:
3 of my spots became inflamed after the end of today, which is freaking ridiculous because I just reported that everything was fine yesterday. I realized that this cycle has been going on forever - never really resolving itself. Even though my acne is in no way severe, it is extremely persistent. I'm going to my first derm appointment in nsc on 22nd Dec (they made me wait a whole freaking month just for this appointment!) and I'm going to request for accutane cuz I'm freaking tired of this acne crap lol.
I've been reading up on accutane and I'm aware of all the side effects and risks that come with the medication. But it also appears that accutane is the one medication that truly nips the problem in the bud. Sure, I've read some reviews where acne relapses after stopping accutane, but it is quite rare and in most cases, people report very little to no acne years after stopping accutane. 
Honestly, I don't know if the derm would prescribed me accutane considering I don't have severe acne and also, i heard nsc will usually start off with antibiotics. But if I explain that I've already been on antibiotics (dalacin t) and differin for 3 months maybe they will consider putting me on accutane. Urghhh, I'm in a dilemma here!
On one hand, I am leaning towards asking for differin 0.3 and a new antibiotic cuz it seems like dalacin T has lost its efficiency, but then I have to go through this regimen for at least 3 months and if it doesn't work, then that will be 3 months wasted!!!!! And on the other hand, I'm pretty sure accutane will work but some of the side effects really do sound quite nasty - but at least I don't have to waste soooo much time testing out one regimen after another to see what works and what doesn't!!! And then on the other other hand (so many hands!), I've got a bad feeling that the derm might just end up doing whatever he or she wants to do without considering my requests and then I have to waste even more time (I dunno how nsc works but I've heard that they tend to give inexperienced doctors to subsidized patients and usually these doctors have no clue what they're doing). 
Damn I really don't want to stress over this but I can't help it! I just went out with some of my friends today (haven't met them for close to a year) and I was so embarrassed by the state of my skin (which may I remind you worsened overnight). My self esteem has taken a huge ass plunge since these last couple of months and this is really affecting me cuz I used to be quite confident and shit.
Ok whatever! No point worrying about the unforeseeable future!! I just really wish that whatever decision is made on the 22nd Dec will yearn good results. I don't mind tiding through another 3 months as long as I can have my clear complexion back. 
Ok, end of rant. Gonna go back and hide my face.
P.S. posting these pictures and looking at the ones I took yesterday is making me very upset lol. I'm circling the spots that have become inflamed. 


 Snapchat-1938837592169415741.jpg         Snapchat-4495636938462491018.jpg       Snapchat-5239711479582169645.jpg             



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