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Day 19

cloudydreamer

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So I'm right in the thick of things just over the 2 week mark and I'm really struggling emotionally. When I began taking it and using the glycerin based wash, I got a weird little zit rash underneath my jawline on the left side of my face. Several of those tiny spots have now become small papules. It realllly sucks! Once I get this kind of stuff it doesn't ever go away, it just comes to a head and slowly disappears, usually leaving PIH behind. :(Honestly the discoloration is actually worse than the spots - I don't know when and why I began becoming so easily inflamed but I think I need to try an aruuyvedic anti inflammatory diet. 

The chin nodule I mentioned a few days ago that's usually huge and lasts weeks is still red but has flattened out a lot. Unfortunately I tried tarte makeup with lorac's soothing skin primer and I got a few stinging pustules and a small but annoying sore spot on my chin within two days. I know it's from the makeup since the pustules appeared where I really layered it on. I'm not sure which it's from, since the primer contains fatty alcohols and that can irritate me sometimes. It's so confusing and leaves me so depressed. It even aggravated some preexisting spots that were disappearing/flattening. It's a harsh reality that I can't cover the grossness I'm dealing with without adding to the problem. I'm on vacation and I feel so self conscious and it's unfair. I guess I am just tired - tired of this defining me and ruling my life.

I really hope spiro pulls through and the IB lessens; it may be worse from getting my period in two days too. I'm sure its helping the hormonal fluctuation from spiro, since I usually get bad pms acne anyway. 



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