Two rounds of acutane and eight years later I still have terrible acne. I've had it for as long as I can remember. When I was 13 I took my first round acutane and it worked wonders I had clear skin for maybe 2 years after that. I then began making my rounds through every drugstore and high end acne product out there to start the battle again, seeing dermatologists and always being prescribed retina which for me just makes my skin hurt. Finally I endured another round of acutane at 18, this time my face didn't clear up as well but it was manageable and I could go a couple weeks without a breakout which was great! Now 3 years later within about an eight week time span I'm back where I started, huge pustules cover my cheeks and jaw line, and the rest of my face has closed comodones. I went to the doctor and was prescribed doxycycline, she says to come back in a month to check on my progress. I feel like I need acutane again but I'm terrified of the dry scale like skin. I'm an adult now with a good job and I can't help but feel like everyone looking at me is assuming I'm a dirty teenager with my terrible skin. I take such good care of skin, all non comedegenic products, never sleep in makeup, 90% of my skin care is natural and yet the acne keeps coming. I can't leave the house without makeup, I haven't made eye contact with my roommate in weeks. I feel like I'm struggling to feel and look human lately. Not only does my face hurt but I'm emotionally hurting from acne. Every time I look in the mirror I see new bumps. My boyfriend tells me it's ok I'm still pretty. And then family members are always pointing it out. Everyone wants to recommend me products I've tried as if I don't try to treat it. I avoid going out its so bad and makeup doesn't do anything but make my skin crawl. It's taking a much bigger toll on my emotions as an adult than it ever did as a teen. And I'm just not sure how to cope as of late.