I haven't updated my blog in about a month and I felt it was probably time to do so.
Honestly, the last time I wrote I was in a very very bad/low place. I seriously didn't want to be here anymore and my mum was so close to taking me into hospital. Thankfully that did not happen. I took time off work to get my head around what was happening to me. I am on antidepressants again.
A couple of weeks ago I began to feel different, I started doing yoga and eating properly again. I've added more walking into my life too and not hiding in my room EVERYDAY. I do feel a little better, I do. I feel everything happened at once and when me and my boyfriend broke up it just amplified it all you know? It made every thing worse somehow and I started to believe he just did not want me because of my skin or because I lost so much weight.
I still have very low days though so I'm not saying I'm 100% happy but I can differentiate between me now and a month ago, and I'm a little better.
well, as you may know or not know around March I used a retinoid, Isotrex, for about 12 weeks and it completely ruined my skin. Prior to the Isotrex I had been using Differin for 7 or 8 months and I thought my skin was horrible which led me to visit a dermatologist who said I have mainly comedonal acne with a couple pustules and that Isotrex will HELP and NOT break me out. Well did it fuck, from the first day I used it I experienced initial purging but different from what I was used to, I got tiny pin prick spots all around my neck and everything.. my skin got very rashy looking and red and I felt ugly as hell.
Im glad I stopped it because I saw zero improvement. However, after stopping I visited my general practitioner (doctor) and she said it isn't thaaaaaaat bad but I'll give you an antibiotic because there are a few pustules and papules. Erythromycin is the antibiotic, I also got Differin again. Weirdly my skin seemed to have gotten worse after stopping Isotrex, I felt so anyway.
Its been about 1 month on the antibiotics and the differin, I noticed a slight improvement in some areas a couple weeks ago, my nose, temples and upper face under my eyes seemed a lot smoother. But this week I feel different again, and discouraged but my period came this week too and I have ate more chocolate than normal. My skin isn't great, seriously.. it's bad, it's the worst it's been in the past 2 years and I feel incredibly ugly and unconfident.
I have my next dermatologist appointment on the 20th of this month, I am asking him for Roaccutane. I will update you again then.
If you have any words of wisdom about keeping confident with acne and stuff please do message me or comment.