I feel like complete shit right now, it's like I have reverted back to my 16 year old self. I finally mustered up the courage to put some makeup on and go to my therapist appointment, but I ended up cancelling anyway as I hid in the parking lot. It is super hot out today and I didn't even realize my makeup had melted off where I had concealed my scabs. I realized it when I got in the parking lot(was already 5 minutes late), and I desperately searched for some makeup in the car. The only thing I could find was some melted liquid foundation that ended up making everything look 10x worse. My scabs were oozing and bloody, and I just did not have the courage to sit in a waiting room with 20 other people looking that way. I lost a job over this once. I was always late because I always had a giant scab to cover, which if you're a picker, you know how difficult that can be, or I called in all the time because I was too anxious to face the world. I just wish I had the confidence to say fuck it, and I thought I did, but here I am again;my 16 year old self stuck in a 24 year old's body. Of all days, I needed to see my therapist today. If it had just been him, I would have gone, but I just don't have the fortitude to face 20 other people right now. I rescheduled for Monday, so I hope he can help me through this. It doesn't help that my husband is away at Military training either. I just feel so alone.