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I feel so low right now

MonroeQT

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I feel like complete shit right now, it's like I have reverted back to my 16 year old self. I finally mustered up the courage to put some makeup on and go to my therapist appointment, but I ended up cancelling anyway as I hid in the parking lot. It is super hot out today and I didn't even realize my makeup had melted off where I had concealed my scabs. I realized it when I got in the parking lot(was already 5 minutes late), and I desperately searched for some makeup in the car. The only thing I could find was some melted liquid foundation that ended up making everything look 10x worse. My scabs were oozing and bloody, and I just did not have the courage to sit in a waiting room with 20 other people looking that way.  I lost a job over this once. I was always late because I always had a giant scab to cover, which if you're a picker, you know how difficult that can be, or I called in all the time because I was too anxious to face the world. I just wish I had the confidence to say fuck it, and I thought I did, but here I am again;my 16 year old self stuck in a 24 year old's body. Of all days, I needed to see my therapist today. If it had just been him, I would have gone, but I just don't have the fortitude to face 20 other people right now. I rescheduled for Monday, so I hope he can help me through this. It doesn't help that my husband is away at Military training either. I just feel so alone.



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Hey there, 
I hope it helps to know, I've been so sick over my acne in the past I literally went to a mental hospital over it. I have talked to a therapist over that and other self esteem issues( or lack thereof!) I don't blame you for not going, group therapy isn't my thing either.
I take effexor and I recently stopped taking Xanax. It helps a lot but it causes really low energy and weight gain. I've been around 120-130 lbs most of my life but now I'm like size 16:(. It doesn't feel nice to know but I just recently started exercising and eating healthy again. I used to feel confident about my body at least but now I'm kinda fat and I barely even care( complacency is another side effect).
Its hard that your husband is away. Maybe part of you picks cause he's not there to see or stop you?  I missed a few vacations because of my skin...I wasn't even broken out but it was the fear that I WOULD.
Do you have any friends or sisters who could hang out with...or a pet? My pets are grew for my mental health I have a tabby cat and a mini dachshund...Purrsephone and Mrs Licky.

Anyway just so you know you're one of the most helpful people on here since I've joined. Keep on fighting this thing. I feel you will find something soon that works. And I think you're beautiful acne or no:)

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Your not alone, you have us. You have me. I am exactly in your shoes right now too and my mum's away out so I have no one to hold me. You'll see your therapist on Monday and feel tons better :)

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I've done this exact same thing. I started seeing a therapist specifically because of the anxiety and depression I was facing over my acne, but there were days where I would cancel because I didn't have the mental or emotional strength to leave my house. I knew those were the days I needed therapy the most but the hurdles  I had to jump to actually get there were too daunting . Don't be too hard on yourself. Having the confidence to not care about your acne or keep it from letting you live your life does not come easy. I've had acne for 18 years and I still don't know how to not let it get me down. Just remember that you're not alone. The acne.org community is a great resource for support and advice. We're all here for you.

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Just hang on. Every new spot feels like it is slowly draining the life out of you. I know it's not easy. Try not to look in the mirror too much unless you have to. When you do and it gets you down, take a few slow deep breathes and try to think of the parts of your face you are happy with. I swear acne knows it gets us down and that feeds it so trying to stay positive and not letting it feed on your emotions helps too. It takes practice but it does help.

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