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Acne is clearing, now I have scars Yippee

omgacnefml

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its been 6 months since i've made my post and i would like to say that all is good with the world and i still have clear beautiful skin with which i can frolic under the sun in a field of dandelions. But thats a fucking lie. Dont get me wrong, im ecstatic my acne is clearing up but now i have to deal with the acne scars.

Quick summary of my 6 months: acticlate antibiotics were great, finally kicked in the last month and cleared up skin and didn't have many scars so I visited family in a sunny area and felt great. anibiotics came to an end however and acne started coming back, so i panicked and went to my derm who said that i cant take too much acticlate cuz i could build up a resistance towards it so i should try either Oracea or Accutane. Accutane sounded scary, so Oracea first--> shitty decision, Oracea sucks, doesnt help at all, quit it after 3 weeks. Told Derm i'll try Accutane, but i have to take a month off antibiotics which definetly scared me. So i decided to try out the no-dairy diet i see online along with a mix of dan's regimen--->fucking amazing results, saw results in a week and was mostly clear by end of month. HOwever, i still had bad back acne and i hated the diet. I mean no ice cream, no pizza, no chocolate, no milk, no cereal, as a 19 year old?!! Lol, try being in college and not eating any of that and see how hard life can be. So with all that in mind, i decided to go on Accutane-->3 weeks in realized i made a big mistake. As bad as my diet was, I hated the inital outbreak Accutane was giving me. I thought i could handle it, but some cysts were bigger and whiter than i expected .....and then i got one abnormally large cyst on the front of my face. It was like a half inch big and felt like a sac of pus on my face. It literally wouldnt go away and kept getting bigger, so i broke down and popped it...suffice to say i have like 3 new scars on the front of my cheek and as the weather got sunnier, I realized i had other scars on the same cheek that i never noticed before. So i decided to stop accutane and just stick to the diet.

Its been a month now and its taking longer than before to clear up but im still getting good results. Now i'm dealing with the emotional toll of having scars and oh baby what a toll. A full year ago, I felt on top of the world both physicallly and mentally before the acne hit. Now i feel like im trying to scrape up the broken pieces and piece it slowly back together, albiet more broken and scarred but still something of value. Its tough realizing that I need to avoid the sun as it will reveal all my flaws and also make them worse as time goes on. Its tough knowing that as I age, my scars will get worse and there may come a point in time when life may get harder than it is now. Its also tough knowing that as someone with brown skin, laser scar removal surgery is an unlikely option for me. I love being in the Sun and being outdoors, I loved being considered attractive and I loved the person I was before all this. But I take comfort in having friends who have the same issue as me , some with much worse scars than mine and yet found ways of enjoying life to its best. Hell, two guys i know with heavy scarring still go out in the sun and get cute girls. It would be a disservice to myself to just let this ruin my life. There are worse things that I will (hopefully) never come to know. Life can be very cruel and Ive only had a taste. SO this summer will the summer that I will get my shit together and be the best kind of person that I aspire to be. I'm gonna finally get started on my dreams to be a writer which i've put off for far too long, I'm gonna get back to flirting with girls, I'm gonna enjoy my life again and hopefully someone reading this can feel the same way. I'd love to hear your thoughts and how youre dealing with your struggles. Hopefully ,we can make each other feel better. :)



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