I am a 15 year old girl who cannot look in the mirror without cringing. My face is red with cystic acne on my cheeks, along with scars from previous cysts. It kills me everyday when Im laying in bed knowing that if I did not have acne, my life would be different. I understand that acne should not control my life and that there are so many worse things that could happen in my life, hence my username: fortunate female. But acne really does take a toll on a person emotionally. I have had pimples since I was 14 years old, but when I entered my sophomore year of high school, cystic acne hit me full force. When I say I have tried everything, I have tried everything, from natural products to homemade remedies, to over the counter products. Some start to work, and I get my hopes up, but then nope, there are newly formed cysts. I am at that point where I just cannot take it anymore, and I cannot stay hidden in my room, praying for my acne to go away. My mom has booked me an appointment with a dermatologist, and I hope once I go I can get started on some oral medication very soon. I cannot go out of the house without applying makeup, and recently, my skin has been sp dry that my makeup looks terrible. I cant apply makeup without having a breakdown every single time. When I go to school I put my hair over my cheeks, hoping to cover the scars and bumps. I am so sick and tired of missing out on pool parties, and outdoor activities because I am scared of my friends seeing my skin in the light. Also the fact that I am the only one with acne out of my friends really hits me hard. I dont have someone to talk to about how Im feeling and to relate to. I hope in the next couple of months I can share what I start taking and can share my journey with people who can relate to what I am going through.