I finally decided to start a blog because I have been struggling with the emotional side effects acne can cause. My acne is very mild. I am sure most people on here wouldn't even consider it acne. I can count the blemishes that I have on my face with one hand but for me my acne is severe. This isn't a story about vanity or trying to achieve perfection. This is my story of coping with BDD (body dysmophia disorder) from acne.

My background:

I am a 33 year old female. I have had acne since the age of 12. I have always had mild to moderate acne. I go through phases where my skin is crystal clear despite what I eat or drink. But I have been dealing with breakouts since December and my confidence is shattered. I went from being an outgoing, bubbly and fun person to a quiet, subdued recluse. It's so bad that my friends are noticing it along with my clients at work.

I will probably post some pictures soon so I can see my progress. 

My routine is the 3 step Proactiv program. I follow it religiously and use it twice a day. I have been using this program for about 8 years and it seems to keep my acne in check. I am also on Ortho Tri-Cyclen (generic form).  

Currently, I have two small blemishes on my left cheek. One is flat but has hyper-pigmentation while the other looks like a whitehead. I hope to be able to pop it tonight so that it will heal. 

I am going on a family trip to Washington DC this coming Thursday the 31st and if my skin isn't clear I will most likely miss the trip. My anxiety will be to much to handle not being in my comfort zone and out of my routine of normalcy. 

So far today, I am keeping my anxiety in check. I haven't cried. My mood is ok. I haven't had a panic attack and I am not feeling as depressed as yesterday. I am still a little nauseous when I eat from nerves and the constant worry that a new zit will crop up but I have been able to keep food down. Unfortunately, I have had very bad diarrhea due to my nerves. I am looking forward to feeling better soon.