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Ughhhhh (Day 19)




Oyyyyyy. Alright, so it's day 19. 

My break out has faded, BUT something weird has happened. I'm taking to the internet to try and figure out what it is. Basically in spots close to where I had kenalog dents (bad girl, I know), I've broken out in small bumps that look like pimples but aren't sore or really red. The doctors say it's just the pits filling in and the skin repairing itself (I've had a lot of kenalog in this area)... Is this true?! 

The skin on my body is getting really dry, so I've started having coconut oil baths. HIGHLY RECOMMEND. I have one of those and then I slather my body with cetaphil moisturizer. The WEIRDEST thing is though, my face isn't dry yet. WTF? I've been caking on tons of moisturizer at night and that seems to be doing the trick, or I'm lucky, or it's not working? WHO KNOWS. I kind of want to be dry (don't kill me), just so I know "okay, this is doing it's thing" but I'll take the moisture while I can get it!

 I have my next derm appt in 2 weeks and I've got a baaad feeling that he's going to up my dose. Maybe that wouldn't be the worst thing. I know when I first did accutane I was on 80 MGs, which is a lot because I've never broken 100 lbs and I'm 5'0 -- I was a walking flakey bar

On Saturday, in anticipation of my skin getting really dry -- I hit up Sephora. For as long as I can remember I've always been a powder girl. But, I feel like that's going to come to an end rather soon. So I went to get some foundation and a new primer. WHAT GOOD THAT WAS. I talked to this girl who works there, she had a lot of active acne (poor thing) and told me that she had done accutane before AND THEN proceeded to just try and scare me. She also gave me bad stuff, it doesn't look good at all. Seriously, people stare on the subway. HELP

Also, can I just say not drinking is killing me? I don't really drink that much to begin with, a glass of wine here, a gin and tonic there... But being bound to soda water is only good for one thing (MY WAIST). I just want to watch netflix while I savor a glass of vino WITHOUT any anxiety. 

If anyone is reading this, can you send some inspiration and pick me ups my way?! I need it this week! I just need to know that this is going to work. I get that this blog is really more for me, but I'm also looking to meet some accutane buddies!


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