2 weeks since starting Ery-Tab, Benzamycin, and Tazorac. After my skin started getting really red I eased up on the topicals, using them only every other day. I have noticed my skin isn't as red, so that's great. Still breaking out badly though. I've developed a few painful bumps on my jawline. Yesterday as I finished up washing my face I noticed I was bleeding on a bunch of spots, presumably pimples that I'd accidentally popped.
Now, onto what's been bothering me.
The other day I went out without makeup because why waste my foundation when I'm only going to be gone 5 minutes?
I head to CVS, pick up my stuff, and head to the checkout line. The cashier is like "You know what works pretty well? Witch Hazel".
I pay, head to my car, and drive home, with that simple sentence being replayed in my head, over and over, for the rest of the day.
I get that strangers want to be helpful when they recommend stuff, but honestly it just irritates me. Friends are always saying "Acne doesn't define you!! You're beautiful with and without makeup!!" but that's really hard to believe when you get total strangers telling you what you should do to get rid of it. It basically just reminds me that people do notice my acne, and that even if I try to go to the store and buy stuff like a normal person, that's the first thing people will see about me.
Yeah, maybe he had acne and fixed it and just wanted to share it with me to help me out. But honestly, it hurts that he would suggest it at all, because that shows me that he thinks my acne has affected me that much.
A few weeks ago I saw https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWTRwj9t-vU, and it resonated with me so much. Although I don't have a youtube channel and don't get comments directly targeted at me, I see them all the time.
Doesn't wear makeup -
"You look tired"
"Do you even wash ur face?"
"Wow ur ugly :/"
"Honey you should really try _________ to get that fixed"
Makeup tutorial -
"Too much makeup. That's why you have acne".
"You're so fake"
"If you wear makeup it's because you're insecure"
"This is why I have trust issues"
I hate it. I hate that there's no way for people to stop commenting on how we look. Sure, maybe we wear makeup because we're insecure. That's our call. It makes us feel nice so we do it. Maybe we're tired of people telling us that we're beautiful without makeup, and yet constantly trying to show us how to get rid of it.
What I hate most is that I personally don't have an issue with my acne. I know it's just something that I have, and that it makes things a little more difficult (basically everything I said above). I know I'm not alone in this fight either.
I don't care that people notice it, because let's be real, the first thing you see on someone is their face.
I care that people act as though it defines me as a person, and that I won't be satisfied until I get it under control.
I just want my acne to be something as mundane as the bird crap on my car.