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Girls

LaiPt

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It is embarrassing to say that I've never had a girlfriend.

There is only one thing I regret in my life so far. ..And that's not pursuing any girls. From a young age in kindergarten. I would play around with girls and put my hand on the laps of the girls I find pretty. (Is it sexual harassment if a toddler does it? lol)

Yes, even as a toddler I liked girls. I moved from one crush to another. Admiring from a distance. Like a creep lol..

I was even madly infatuated with one girl in my physics class in second year university and I didn't even know her name!

All I could do is admire her from the balcony of the auditorium. I couldn't concentrate in class and did horrible in it.

I am a very confident person. No kidding. I am. But when it comes to girls I like. I am the biggest loser of all time (or perhaps close to it).

I never pursued girls. Ever. I never asked ANY girl out before. And have only gone on one blind date set up by a friend. But that date still stings me whenever I think back to it.

I think I am relatively attractive from far. I do catch girls checking me out from afar.

But.....

I get the deepest of piercing pain in my chest whenever I'd ponder the slightest idea pursing any girl I like.

At times, in a rare instances. I would get a burst of confidence and my hopes rise high. But that great feeling is but a flash.

Once I look at myself in the mirror. All hope instantly fade.

I obsess about my bad skin. If you take a look inside my phone and you'll find hundreds upon hundreds and hundreds of close up shots of my mutilated scared skin with big pores under revealing light.

Anyone with trypophobia certainly can't bare to look at it.

Maybe I'll never get a girlfriend. I don't know what to do.. I'm trapped.

I don't know how I can get out of this barrier I've fallen myself into.

A barrier which grows stronger and stronger with the passage of time.

Leaving not much room to breathe.

Now at the age ... dare I say... 27, the barrier has gotten so strong I wonder if I have even the slightest possibility of getting out of it.

hmmmmmmmmmmm don't get me wrong. The barrier is bullet proof strong but.. it's paper thin.

The force of will can pierce better than a bullet, if one makes the leap of faith into the darkness. Not knowing if the darkness is covering a path to glory or leads to a sudden drop off a cliff.

I just have to GO FOR IT and directly pursue a girl with a full force of will and I'll instantly break out of this life long barrier.

(You can chip away at it slowly or you can bring it down instantly with one strong blow)

It is good practice you know. This experience will extend and make you pierce stronger in every area of your life.

It is very very very very hard but I believe you can do it Peter! It is within the realms of reality.



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