I finally decided to go on Isotretinoin AKA Accutane after 10 years of my dermatologist telling me I should. I was wary for all the obvious reasons. I was also a pretty unruly teen with a lot of emotions going on to begin with. I waited until I tried every possible option, which I have. I have done every thing- every topical, every antibiotic, every clear skin diet, over the counter, prescription, cleanse, skin care line, drug store product, designer-brand product, dermabrasion, peels....you name it. Yes, I've a lot of time and money on my face. And do you know what I have to show for it? Nothing. My skin has gotten progressively worse since I was 15. I thought it was bad in high school- but I had no idea. I realize now that I never actually had acne. Until college came to an end and finding a job came around, that's when I discovered "adult acne". My acne is cystic and directly related to stress and "my time of month". However it would not be bad at all if I did not pick it. My problem is that I pick it. Sometimes I dont even realize I am picking, other times I am knowingly in the mirror for long periods of time with a tissue, a bobby pin, and a needle. I know that what I do is ruining my skin and making it worse and causing scars...But i've come to the conclusion that it's some strange nervous habit -similar to biting nails- that relieves anxiety. It's wierd, but that's it. I know I pick when i'm stressed and I am flooded with relief when I can pop a big pimple. This is a disgusting habit. I feel vain and obsessed, yet I hate my self and how I look and how I feel. I don't exercise anymore for fear of worsening the problem. I wear layers of products and make-ups to cover it up, which only makes it worse. I don't sleep over anywhere because I'm ebarrassed to bring all my crap and petified of sleeping with my make up on. I want to stop worrying about this. Enough is enough!!! That is why I started Accutane last week.
It's been a little over a week and I've noticed some side effects. Just 2 days a go my skin began to peel. It's not "dry" like people say, it's just simply peeling away. In fact, it's really oily at the same time. I feel as though the excess oil is being purged out of my pores or something. Even if I wash my face with water, it gets oily again so fast. And my hair too. I think the accutane is pushing out the oils or something. At the same time, there's some peeling. It's enough peeling that I can deal with it. My scars ad marks seems brighter and I've gotten a few pimples pop up. Only one has been a cyst-type. I honestly feel like my skins been much worse in the past so I am not particularly worried about how it looks right now. The only annoying thing that is bugging me is my lip situation. They arent cracked and dry, they just feel like "puckered"...almost like in the way your fingers turn all pruney when you're in the pool too long...my lips feel funny like that. I just keep putting balm and aquaphor on them to avoid the peeling. There's an awareness of my lips feeling funny and dryish all of the time. So i'm always thinking about that and where my chapstick is at all times.
That's enough for tonight. If any one has a question or comment, feel free.