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The Emotional Toll

3wishes

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My acne keeps on getting worst. All the new ones are cycstic and they're everywhere. I can't help but cry every time I see my reflection.I've tried makeup but not even that works on me. Everything is noticeable because they are bumps. My skin is red all the time and my pores are huge and its just so overwhelming. I do have to admit that I pop a few but only the ones that won't leave huge scars.

Today is the second time I stay home because of my acne. I told my mom why I didn't go out today and she just started screaming saying that its my own fault why my face is so bad. She obviously doesn't understand what its like to have a face full of imperfections. She doesn't understand that my acne isn't something I can control. Would I say acne has ruined my life? Yes. It holds me back from getting to know people. It keeps me indoors all the time. Its always on my mind.its the main reason why I cry. I feel alone. Like nobody understands what I'm going through.its so frustrating when nothing works. My acne makes me feel ugly and worthless it makes me jealous of other peoples skin. I look back at old photos of me and I just cry when I see my how nice my face used to be.I cry at TV commercials because all the women in them have flawless skin. I always ask why me? Why did I get stuck with all these pimples? What did I do to deserve them? When will it all be over? Is there anyone out there that understands me?

Its just so hard living with acne. Everything is so expensive when it comes to medications. Acne has brought me down.it has killed my confidence and buried my self esteem very deep into the ground.I'm not myself anymore. I've become a horrible monster that stays indoors and fear what people may have to say about me. I cry all day. I don't look at people in the eye.I just stare at the floor like a child whose ashamed at what he done. I hate the person who stares back at me in the mirror. I used to be that very happy hyper person that laughed at anything.now I'm just the quiet person whose to scared to say anything at all.

When will this nightmare be over?



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Hang in there - it will get better, I promise you. At this time last year my acne was so horrible; huge pimples, blackheads, big pores, uneven texture - and for the first time in my life I started scarring. I had almost perfect skin in my teens and I was outgoing and actually thought of myself as one of the pretty girls and I could usually date the guys I wanted. When this hell started and I began to isolate myself, I felt like the ugliest person on earth, and I lost all of my confidence and started to become this negative person that would never look people in the eyes, never optimistic about anything anyone said and I never went out. It's so hard and no one understands, often friends and family don't even see how horrible your face is, because they know you so well and like you no matter what you look like. But its still painful for the acne "victim" to see your face get ruined in front of your eyes. Today I am more or less acne free after starting birth control yasmin, using tretinoin 0.5% and a topical antibiotic + very gentle cleanser and moisturiser. I still get upset about my skin because it looks uneven and blotchy with some scars, but if I knew a year ago my skin would look like it does now, I wouldnt have had to cry myself to sleep every night. So please dont give up and look forward to the day when you'll be acne free, because it will happen :) Sorry for the long post, but I just know so well how it feels and how it can turn your life upside down

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I did not have health insurance for almost three years. I could not treat my acne even though I knew exactly what I needed to clear my skin. I used to cry myself to sleep. Bumps everywhere, picking, popping yes all that. Hiding from people, as much as possible. I had my own law office to run and would see my clients but I would always be embarrassed, acne at my age? NO ONE else has it. Then I got health insurance in 2010. I don't break out anymore. Its over. I have gotten compliments on my skin from family for the first time like ever. What do I use:

1. Tri-Sprintec birth control pill-Yaz'll do just fine.

2. 100 mg spironolactone

3. 0.1% tretinoin cream

4. benzaclin or duac (same thing)

Try to get to a dermatologist or get on health insurance from your parents or through Medicaid if you are in the US. If you are not in the US I don't know how to help :(.

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I'm so sorry you're going through this. Many of us here have gone through similar. It is NOT your fault! Your mom may not understand how difficult this is for you and cannot grasp why you don't want to leave the house, but I can relate and so can many others! As the others said, hang in there. I hope your situation improves soon.

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To me it seems like it's the birth control (hormonal treatment of some kind), something with tretinoin and a topical (or oral) antibiotic that is helping most women getting their acne under control. I think it's important to attack it from the inside as well as with topical creams to make sure it all goes away, if it's too severe to treat with only topicals - so, your regimen should work as long as you give it time!

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