Oh man, I hate life right now. Usually I always say a mantra to myself too, which is "Life loves Me". Which, I know, deep down Life does actually love me. So much.
But right now I am not open to this love since my endless, restless mind only feels that this "love" is most favourable in a physical form - CLEAR skin.
I am seriously tearing my hair out thinking of what I have done that has broken me out - I haven't got far. Might have been that OCM method I tried (yet I only tried it a few times), might have been the amount of sugar I was eating (currently totally stopped this or at least limited it so much apart from fruits - have only had chocolate once in a week which is very good for me), might be a reaction to my skincare regimen which is in my Sig if you want to see it...perhaps the BP? Can one become immune?!
It also might even be some kind of Gluten intolerance which I don't know about or an allergic reaction to dust? I do sneeze alot. Fuck My Life. Can you see how friggin' crazy I sound and how overactive I'm thinking? Am I the only one that constantly thinks about their skin...I really didn't when it was clear. Now there's something to think about.
I'm not gonna lie I really do place myself in an " average" beauty category. Maybe a 5 out of 10. With clearer skin this was mentally raised to at least a 6.5. I felt more confident when it wasn't like this.
I have a list of things that I'm dubious about trying but feel that they might help:
Antibiotics - my friend recently started them and her skin is amazing. But is this long-term?
BCPs - I have a pack of Dianette which has not been touched yet. My skin was clear with it before but I fear the affects coming off them.
Retinoids - might help with the bumps and a alternative to BP..But I have read horror stories and a would DREAD the inevitable IB.
I have recently bought fermented Cod Liver Oil. Green Pasteurs. Apparently this really has helped people's skin due to the natural amounts of Vitamin A and D. We'll see how that goes.
But consensus as of right now - I am utterly depressed.