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Dead Before I Had A Chance To Live



I haven't been on Acne.org for a while now because i had the impression that my acne troubles were making a full remission. I was pretty damn wrong. For a while i was walking around all confident and what not, didn't really worry about my face because i didn't think anything was wrong with it. I would look in the mirror and not really be perfectly satisfied with how i looked but it was alot better than what it used to be. And then, i made the mistake of looking closely at my face in the light with a mirror. Horrible. So many little bumps and holes that look to be icepick scars and closed comedones. I think one of the worst mistakes i ever made was agree to get a microdermabrassion treatment and chemical peel directly after. I believe that is what destroyed my skin. when i look at my skin in the light at a backwards angle i can see what looks to be little shreds and holes covering my lower face and cheeks, which makes for an over all dreadful appearence. My derm knows she destroyed my skin but will sit there with a smile and tell me i look wonderful. I'm really worried my skin will never return to normal and it has a real fucked up look to it. sorry to be so pesamistic, but its hard to be happy when you know you are ugly and can't talk to people because all they probally see is my acne and scars due to the extreme vanity of todays society and culture. I was thinking of going on accutane to prevent any new scars from developing but I am worried it will do more harm than good. Any input would be greatly appreciated.


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My only good news is that you're young-- at least the raw skin from the peel/microdermabrasion should heal "quickly". Now in my mid 30s, it takes months for one little paper cut to heal, let alone a scab or zit. It seems to me that any surgery or medical procedure takes time to heal-- so it'll look worse before it gets better.

I was on Accutane twice, and had no problems with it (except for having to go on it the second time!) Still no cure in itself, but if the peel/dermabrasion doesn't seem to help after it heals-- it's still worth a try. If you have a bad reaction to it, you could always stop taking it.

I read the previous post you put on your blog-- it REALLY makes me angry when doctors give us the riot act about picking. My current dermatologist, I told point blank, "I know I'm a picker. I don't pick when there's nothing to pick at." He didn't seem phased. Seriously, I think it's a natural reaction to pick, like pulling out a splinter or scratching an itch. Of course there is a limit to how much one can and should do, but still-- where do they get off saying anything so rude, when they're getting paid to fix the problem that's making you pick in the first place? I don't care if the patient is 15 or 50-- there's no reason for a doctor to scold a patient unless the patient is doing something blatantly illegal (like prescription fraud). Aside from that, anyone who's seen a dermatologist knows how long one has to wait for an "emergency appointment". For example, if I woke up with a dozen cysts tomorrow, there's no way I could get in to see my doctor for weeks.

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Let's work together to get you cured. We are in the same boat and I exactly know how you feel because I have gone through the same thing for 7 years. First, please go through my blog post (I have pasted the link below) and let me know whether you have experienced anything similar to my state. (dietary allergies, etc) So we can start from there. I will help you until things get better!

Sometimes it's not what you apply on your face. You need to work on life style changes. And you are young and your skin is easy to heal. Acne is not incurable. It's only a condition.

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The shredded appearance will smooth out over time. Glad you are being honest about it though because microdermabrasion was on my wish list. Promptly removed! I had severe scars 4 years ago and after using tretinoin religiously, my skin appears smooth. Not flawless mind you-and that does upset me, but as normal as can be for someone who is 39 and had acne since the tender age of 15. :( Anywho...My skin is clear now and I am on about myself. My god I am so self-centered. Back to you! Try tretinoin to improve the appearance of scars (also differin/adapelene or epiduo should have the same effect, depends on what your insurance will pay for). Thank you for sharing and you are beautiful on the inside, you are helping other acne sufferers by sharing your story and for that I thank you! May the force be with you. Peace!

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