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Do You Limit Yourself Because Of Acne?

mel90

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Recently I have been really thinking about some of my decisions. I have really realized that a lot of things I have done that have caused me misery are a result of how I have seen myself. For this I will be using my relationship as an example.

I have been in a relationship for about 4 years. we met when I was 17. I was surprised that someone found me attractive because I hated my face. I thought it was so unlikely that anyone would want to be with me. This might sound bad, but this is really why I entered this relationship. I felt lucky to find a person willing to put up with my external ugliness.

Before I met him I had met so many guys that I found myself attracted to, but because of my acne I assumed they would never see anything in me. That I would not satisfy them because I felt I wasn't beautiful. I ultimately have settled for someone simply because my acne has caused me to think that I can't do any better.

I have made decisions like this that make me miserable simply because of my insecurities.

The reason I'm writing this is not random. Just yesterday I ran into a guy that I had a huge crush on in high-school. He's an incredible human. He's not just beautiful but he's also so amazing. I was practically raised around this guy. I have known him since my memory has been effective. I had lost touch with him since about 4 years ago. We got into a great conversation and he was shocked to find out that I am in a serious relationship. The whole time I was speaking to him I just felt more upset at my relationship. But I Knew and still know that even if I wasn't in this relationship he would be out of my league.

I feel like acne has made me do things I wouldn't do. It has made me underestimate myself. It has made me assume that I am never going to be good enough. It has caused me to believe that I deserve the bare minimum if not less.

I know some might say if your not happy end it, but we're engaged. This is the first relationship I have been in and I don't know how to end it. I have 0 experience.

I feel really weird opening up about this but I guess maybe someone will relate...



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Guest GetMeTheResults

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Seems like you have already made the choice, you are already engaged. Don't throw away the 4 years of love and care for a "what if". That other guy wasn't there for you, the one who put a ring on your finger was and knows you better than the other guy. Acne has molded your character and has impacted your decisions, but it's no different than other factors that make us who we are like being born into a bad family. We can't change the cards we are given in life, we can only play them better. Acne has definitely influenced my life as well, but I figured there's no point in living in the past and feeling regretful, so I've decided to get on the magic pill and clear up my skin. While I've missed A LOT of things in life because of my skin condition, I don't regret being who I am today. I've become more accepting of the fact that life isn't always fair and that I can't have everything done my way. Remember that you'll have many opportunities to meet attractive guys and have a connection, but they're just promises which have yet to prove themselves to you that they are truly worth it

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I am gonna take a slightly different approach from GMTR. My advice is, run like hell from the marriage to the guy you settled for. I fell into the same trap and was in an unfulfilling
relationship all through my 20's. What a waste of life. I was also suffering with acne and had low self-esteem. I think it's better to stay single and work on your "cure", because there is one. Acne is totally curable; you just have to find the right combination of drugs or the one drug that works for you. Right now I am 100lbs overweight. I have been skinny all my life. I am planning to start dating once I lose the weight. I don't want to "settle" ever again. :( You have two good pieces of advice, choose one that suits you. :)

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You have both made really valid points and you can't imagine how much I appreciate you writing back! I am not rushing any of my decisions and I am really considering what both of you have said. It will definitely be more comfortable to just stay in this relationship and keep things as they are- so that will probably factor into my decision to be honest. I really agree with what you said GMTR about acne shaping my character, I just want to be free of these doubts and regrets.

Thank you again for your input :) I hope I can make a decision that feels right

Mel

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