Here I am.
Sad. Angry. Miserable.
I wake up everyday with a bunch new white heads. I can't wait for the day I wake up to find no new acne. I am so embarrassed that I only leave the house to go to work or take the dog out. I am so frightened talking to people or looking them in the eye that I no longer take Bo for walks around the neighborhood for fear that someone will want to stop and talk. Does this make me selfish?
Lucky. I owe a lot to my boyfriend. He tries to make me believe that I am still beautiful, which is hard to do with this infestation. I am cranky at all times, imagine 24/7 PMS, yet he just complements me and tells me it will all be worth it in the end. I know I am lucky. I have someone who still makes me kiss him even though my lips are no longer soft and are framed with acne.
Concerned. Yesterday as I was rinsing out the shampoo I could feel hairs sliding along my backside. It wasn't clumps of hair. Maybe 15-20 strands total if I had to guess. But if this much hair is falling out on day 10 I am frightened to think of how much I will feel sliding down my back come month 6.
Curious. I am thinking that maybe I should just tell my coworkers about accutane. Has anyone done this? I feel as though this may make me feel less embarrassed.
P.S I am sorry for the photos. I know they are gross. I want to see my progress and also let future accutaners see that there is hope. I hope.
P.S.S. Just called the dermatologist to see if I can take antibiotics or go in and get some of these cysts injected. She said no. Very disappointing.