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Finding myself

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So here we are. Almost two years I've been apart of the Acne.org communtiy and I still haven't found my turning point. There have definitely been some ups, and obviously some downs. I really thought I was starting to understand my skin though. I thought I knew what worked on it, and what didn't. I thought I was following the rules. But now I just don't know anymore. My skin has gone from being oily and getting random, unpredicable breakouts all over my face. To becoming more dry and senitive, but keeping my acne mostly contained to my cheeks and the occasional breakout on my chin. But the hyperpigmintation is crazy. At this point I really only have about five to ten active spots on my face at a time. But every single breakout I have leaves deep reddish-purple marks that stand out worse then my remaining pimples, along with some deeper scarring.

So aside from trying to understand absolutely every aspect of acne and figuring out what irritates my skin, what products work, and so on. I'm now trying to combat this scarring issue. I don't pick at my skin, I've tried several skin brigthening porducts, and I make sure to wear my sunscreen. But it seems the only solution is to be patient and hope that everything heals itself. The trouble with this is that I spend my time and money on makeup. I used to swear against wearing makeup. I figured it was safer to leave my skin to breath, and I truly belived in embracing your natural beauty. Truthfully, I still feel this way and some days I'm really comfortable with my skin, and actualy feel cuter without the layers of foundation and concealer to hide beneath. But I feel like I owe it to the world and the people around me to cover everything up.

So the ideal out come would be to heal my skin. To prevent future break outs and help bring my skin back to what used to be. But topical treatments just aren't doing anything for me. I follow routine, I keep irritants away from my skin, but I'm still struggling. I know that there are far worse cases of acne than I have. But that doesn't mean I don't feel like I deserve clear skin. Along with continueing my washing routine, I've started taking birth control. So far I haven't seen any drastic results, but I know I have to give it time. I'm seriously going to look into diet research and see if there's a chance that changing my eating habits even more will benefit my skin. I do my best to eat clean already, but I'm really not very educated on potential acne trigger foods and other health aspects that may be benefitial for me.

Right now, I'm just trying to set myself up for success. I want what's best for me in my entire life, and I know that clearing up my acne would be a huge improvement on how I see myself. So I guess I just keep trying until I get to where I want to be.



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