I'm still waiting for the morning that I wake up without a new blemish on my face. I don't think that's happened since I turned 18. Some days I'm more hopeful and other days I just want to stay home and cry--not in a depressed/suicidal sort of way but in a self-conscious, self-loathing, frustrated sort of way. It's not fair. I'm trying to plan my wedding but I'm hesitant to set the date until I'm confident that I'll be clear enough to walk down the aisle. I want to be comfortable in my own skin at my own wedding. I'm so embarassed to be my age and have acne as badly as I do. My fiance doesn't even know I'm on Accutane. I never mention my acne and I act like it doesn't bother me when really it's the only thing that gets me down. I wish I had just gotten acne over with as a teenager like everyone does. In high school, I only suffered from the rare occasional pimple. I NEVER wore any makeup and people who knew me envied me for my skin. Where did I go wrong?
On a more positive note, I invested in a new moisturizer (again). Since my face is so dry, trying new moisturizers keeps me hopeful. I picked up a little something called "Ultra Repair Cream", made by "First Aid Beauty". I've used this stuff nightly for near a month now and I can safely say that it's heavenly. It is a heavy cream but not greasy. It comes in a big tub but is also available in a smaller tube. I paid $28 for a 6oz tub and I love it. You can find it at Sephora. I don't know if it was this stuff or the Clarisonic that I've been using almost daily but all of those pesky whiteheads I was getting on my temples are GONE! Completely gone. Wish I could say the same about the rest of the crap on my face. I can't wait to try other products by this brand
I have not had one pimple or blackhead or anything on my back or chest since beginning Accutane. Not one! I don't know why my face won't clear up like the rest of me has. I'm beginning to think that maybe the makeup I wear daily may have something to do with it. I've been wearing the same foundation for years (since my acne began, 5.5 years ago). I don't have the confidence to leave my house without makeup. I HATE putting on makeup and I look forward to the day that I can eventually not need to waste my time and money on it.