Okay so I haven't been on here since last year, and there's a really good reason for that. I'm living my life. After sitting in my room for two years straight, I was so depressed about my life I decided to kill myself, that's right. I was actually going to do it, and I have never been suicidal, I wanted to live, just not the way I was living, because of acne.
So there I was, with a shotgun in my mouth, thinking after all the bullshit i've been through, this is how it ends? It can't end this way, I thought about how my life could have change dramatically, if only someone would've taken the time to listen, just a few minutes out of their lives to sit down and tell me it's going to be okay, that life does move on, and that's when it hit me.
I decided that I would be that person that was never there for me, I became that guy that buys breakfast for homeless people, and I even eat with them, I talk to them and listen. I always take time out of my day to smile, or wave, or even nod my head at someone who didn't think I would even notice them.
I know how corny this sounds but when you see someone with their their head down, trying to avoid eye contact, when you see someone and you can feel their pain. Because of acne, depression, because they don't like they're weight, or for whatever reason. When you smile at someone who needs it, you can literally see their pain go away for a brief second.
That to me is the most beautiful thing in the world, and believe it or not, through giving joy to others, I myself have found happiness. Not necessarily because of karma, but because you literally create your mood. Nobody forces you to be upset, your the only person who makes that decision. Yeah acne can be very depressing, but please just take time out of your day to smile, or to laugh like your insane, over the littlest things, drive around your neighborhood with music blaring, singing to everyone you see.
Something else you should know, each and every cell in your body has their own cells, with mini immune systems, and each of those cells lives in the environment you create in your body. To put it simply, if you live in a depressing environment, you will indeed become depressed, with that being said, if your depressed, so are your cells, and your body itself, and we all know if your depressed you don't function right, so why would your cells? Positive and negative thoughts literally shape your health just as much as physical objects can.
Anyways, ever since I hit rock bottom I chose to not only be as happy as I can be, but I also made it my purpose to help others find happiness. Please don't let my journey through hell and back be for nothing, I can tell you from experience if you don't choose to control your emotions, they will control you.