Ok, I should have started this a long time ago. This entry will kind of be a quick backlog of everything.
I am 25, I have two kids aged 3 and one. I used to have an ok completion in highschool. Ok enough not to have a panic attack if someone saw me without makeup. I'm not really even sure when it started, but I am so self conscious about my skin now that it really does have a huge impact on my life. I would get so much more joy out of simple things that people with clear skin don't even think about. I FREAK OUT if my boyfriend comes on the bathroom and I don't have makeup on, I genuinely get mad, and he doesn't know why bc i don't think he's ever seen me without makeup. every day things, like sitting down at a table, I have to consider the lighting, which side of my face is worse, if my makeup is ok etc. I go to the bathroom CONSTANTLY just to check it. I avoid natural light, or any harsh light for that matter. On bad days I literally keep my head down. I hate feeling like this. I want to feel confident and secure without makeup in all situations.
I have tried it all. Proactive, skin Id, every face wash, cream, vitamin, prescription topicals, antibiotics, you name it ive tried it.
I never knew about accutane really, until someone I knew tried taking it. I'm not sure how long she was on it, but she went psycho on it and was taken off. (She was psycho before and IMHO I think she chose to show off her crazy side.) anyway, even after that I didn't give accutane much thought. I didn't think I had insurance so I never thought that was an option for me.
Turns out I'm still on my dads insurance until I turn 26 in July. Just enough time for a course of accutane!!!! Yay!!!!
I really hope this works. I just want to feel pretty, or even normal. I'm on my second week, and I'm not sure if its working yet or not. My skin is dryyyyyyyy omg so dry. It's hard to wear makeup and looks like shit, but it makes me feel better to wear it so I will. My lips are chapped, my eyes burn sometimes, and I get minor headaches, but other than that I think my body is handling it pretty well thus far. I'm using bio oil and a moisturizing face wash (ill have to look when I get home.) and some vitamin e oil I picked up ony lunch hour out of desperation.
Im on day 12 and when I looked in the mirror my face was a dry flakey mess. So I wiped off my makeup, put on the vitamin e oil. And put my makeup back on on my car during my lunch hour. Oh, what I would give not to have to do this or worry about what my skin looks like constantly. Trying to keep telling myself it will be all better in a month or two, God I hope I'm right.
I'm putting two pictures of what it looks like without makeup after a shower. Please comment with how you think it looks. I hide behind my makeup, so I don't have anyone who really knows how I'm feeling or what it looks like without it. Btw, I am on 20mg twice a day and 97lbs.