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I Hate My Face

Wilky5209

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Ok, I should have started this a long time ago. This entry will kind of be a quick backlog of everything.

I am 25, I have two kids aged 3 and one. I used to have an ok completion in highschool. Ok enough not to have a panic attack if someone saw me without makeup. I'm not really even sure when it started, but I am so self conscious about my skin now that it really does have a huge impact on my life. I would get so much more joy out of simple things that people with clear skin don't even think about. I FREAK OUT if my boyfriend comes on the bathroom and I don't have makeup on, I genuinely get mad, and he doesn't know why bc i don't think he's ever seen me without makeup. every day things, like sitting down at a table, I have to consider the lighting, which side of my face is worse, if my makeup is ok etc. I go to the bathroom CONSTANTLY just to check it. I avoid natural light, or any harsh light for that matter. On bad days I literally keep my head down. I hate feeling like this. I want to feel confident and secure without makeup in all situations.

I have tried it all. Proactive, skin Id, every face wash, cream, vitamin, prescription topicals, antibiotics, you name it ive tried it.

I never knew about accutane really, until someone I knew tried taking it. I'm not sure how long she was on it, but she went psycho on it and was taken off. (She was psycho before and IMHO I think she chose to show off her crazy side.) anyway, even after that I didn't give accutane much thought. I didn't think I had insurance so I never thought that was an option for me.

Turns out I'm still on my dads insurance until I turn 26 in July. Just enough time for a course of accutane!!!! Yay!!!!

I really hope this works. I just want to feel pretty, or even normal. I'm on my second week, and I'm not sure if its working yet or not. My skin is dryyyyyyyy omg so dry. It's hard to wear makeup and looks like shit, but it makes me feel better to wear it so I will. My lips are chapped, my eyes burn sometimes, and I get minor headaches, but other than that I think my body is handling it pretty well thus far. I'm using bio oil and a moisturizing face wash (ill have to look when I get home.) and some vitamin e oil I picked up ony lunch hour out of desperation.

Im on day 12 and when I looked in the mirror my face was a dry flakey mess. So I wiped off my makeup, put on the vitamin e oil. And put my makeup back on on my car during my lunch hour. Oh, what I would give not to have to do this or worry about what my skin looks like constantly. Trying to keep telling myself it will be all better in a month or two, God I hope I'm right.

I'm putting two pictures of what it looks like without makeup after a shower. Please comment with how you think it looks. I hide behind my makeup, so I don't have anyone who really knows how I'm feeling or what it looks like without it. Btw, I am on 20mg twice a day and 97lbs.blogentry-372253-0-21688600-1390590309_tblogentry-372253-0-85332100-1390590496_t



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Hello!

I'm so much like you. I panic when my hubs seems me without makeup. At night I take it all off and run to bed. I don't hang around. I know what it feels like. I get deep cystic around my mouth, temples recently? I never did there. My back is scarred. I recently went of Yaz so it helped a lot but my body got used to the dosage after two yrs now my acne is way worse. I remember leaving the house without makeup for the 1st time, a year after starting Yaz. No new acne and hyper pigmentation reduced. It felt so weird but amazing! I felt everyone would stare at me but they didnt. I now have to wear makeup again.

Anyways sorry to ramble. But I think accutane will help you. I never been on it, bc Im scared. But it is my last option. I am 25 and can no longer let this control my life. I plan on having another baby and start accutane if it does not get better. Plus hopefully I will have insurance by then. I currently have a 4 yr old and my skin went crazy after having him.

I wish you lots of luck. I'm sure your skin will look amazing after this. Hang in there.

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Thank you so much for your feedback! I realmy feel I need this as an outlet, maybe silly but it does help to know there are other people out there going through the same thing. Follow me through my accutane treatment, maybe it could put you at ease about the drug. I'm hoping that if I were to get side effects, I would already have them. But, that could be naivety talking. This far, all of my side effects are worth the possibility of clear skin ten fold!

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I know I used to say I would never take it but I'm honestly done with this. It's held me back a lot from things. Like if I have a huge cystic breakout that impossible to cover I will cancel plans. My friends all have clear skin and eat like crap.

I will definitely follow you through your accutane treatment. It might help put me more at ease at taking it once I decide to. It definitely is an outlet here. I feel like I'm not alone in this. Im not the only adult with acne. Good luck dont forget to update!!

Sending you lots of postive vibes from Chicago.

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