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How I Am Now

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I don't have a lot of acne, and it's silly that I want to die over it. Yes, die. But every time I see a nasty weird looking bump on my face, I pick it (which I know is a big no no) and then I try to make it go away with acne medication like drying paste, hoping it will go away or clear up a lot by the next morning (it never does). I also have a problem touching my face constantly, which I know is bad but it's hard for me to stop. I also try drinking more water, because I know it's good for the skin and other things too, but I get sick of water. And then reach for a soda which is bad. I'm really getting sick of acne. I see a bunch of people with clear beautiful skin at school and I want to be that. I want to feel pretty and confident, not some ugly suicidal mess. I tried a lot of medications like proactive, clearasil, clean and clear, neutrogena, and now epiduo. I use epiduo with another prescribed medication once a day. The dermatologist recommended it. Unfortunately, you break out the first two- three weeks you use it. And I mean BREAK OUT. I feel uglier than ever. So I stopped using it for school pictures, and went back to proactive which worked best for me before. Now the makeup I use is starting to make me break out as well! I use bare minerals. It covers up everything nicely most of the time. But it makes you break out too. I wish I could go without the skin makeup, but if I did I'd want to shoot myself. I need to cover up my spots. When I have clearer skin, then I'll go without the makeup. And I will go back to epiduo after school pictures. I lerned from this site that I have to excersise more, drink more water, stop touching my face, and definitely stop picking!!!!! It will be a struggle, but I will try my hardest and keep everyone updated! This is my acne story (so far) ❤

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