I didn't even know I had an account here to be honest. The last time I logged in was March of 2012, no doubt at the time in the midst of my reoccurring winter breakout. That's all it ever used to be, living in Alberta having moved from the east the air literally sucked the life out of your skin during this time of the year. And so, I thought oh well, a little dry cold air, a little acne, no big deal, I usually found something to help ease it into Summer when my skin was glowing and clear. This Winter seems to have lasted sadly enough, straight through Spring, and now into late August. I'm 29 years old, I never had any skin issues as a teenager; none. I wouldn't have cared back then, it was puberty, everyone had a pimple it was no big deal you were young. But at this age? I have never felt so embarrassed and upset.
It is a constant struggle to make sure my makeup is applied just so to cover everything, to make sure my hair is curled so that it falls perfectly around my face, to look at myself in a mirror in front of a window to see just noticeable it might be or is it just that I'm noticing it more. If I'm meeting co-workers, I obsess in the mirror about every spot, does it look too dry, should I add moisturizer in certain places, more makeup in this place? ugh, might as well just not go to that work function. I feel like EVERYTHING is centered around how bad my breakout is this week.
It's a complete obsession-it's your face-it's what everyone sees. I have spent so much time 'googling' what to eat, when to eat, what products to use, what should I take..
I've been using Benzaclin topical cream for well over a year now, besides the horrible dryness it did work in the beginning and I still feel like some nights after applying it that something magical might happen and I'll wake up with clear skin. Yeah right. Birth control-doesn't help. So now I've been prescribed Minocycline-which is fun because I always feel like I do after taking cold medication except for feeling constantly dizzy. It's only been day 5, of course my skin is worse, which I was told would happen before it got better but I still dream of magic clear skin in the mornings. I have my doubts about this one too. And cleansers? Well, there are aisles upon aisles or cleaners, moisturizers, toners..how do you even choose if nothing seems to help. Same goes for makeup, I'm pretty sure they're all dirty and clog your pores but somehow you have to cover it over..there goes another few hours of Google.
Now I'm moving on to having my hormones and thyroid checked, not gonna lie I almost hope something comes back just to prove to my face it's something more.
I know, many of you are probably rolling your eyes thinking, oh poor her she has only gone through 2 years of this while its been 5 or 10 for some of you so then I applaud you for being you and having had to deal with this for so long because it takes courage, and confidence and its damn hard some days.
I figure having an outlet would help, after that I can't say I feel on top of the world and I'm cured..so I'll go back in hiding.