Well the first one is always going to be the hardest to write. I guess I should start with my history. I turned 27 at the end of last year and I have suffered from acne in some form or another for about 11-12 years. When I was in high school it was my forehead that was my main problem, inflamed red spots, occasional cysts. I can't remember exactly when but I went to my GP and eventually a dermatologist and seemed to get endless creams, that, looking back, I think were far too harsh and probably just made things worse. I didn't have a spot below my forehead during my teen years, but where I did have them, it looked pretty yucky and aggressive and I hated them. I used BP all those years ago and it helped somewhat but I think in the end it just mask the problem and exasperates my skin. I finally cleared up when I went on Dianette when I was about 17. Since then my acne I changed. I would say after the Dianette I my skin was 'fine' for about five years. I wasn't on Dianette the whole time, but was on birth control of some sort to help. I guess at the time I just thought that things had calmed down on their own. Don't get me wrong, I had flare ups, but I can't remember anything too traumatic during that time. When I was about 23/24 I came of a BCP had been taking for a while and suffered a major flare up of my chin/jawline/left cheek, this lasted for about six months. Inflamed, painful and red. I went back on birth control and it seemed to get a handle on things. I came off it again and had no real flare up, but when back on it and for some reason it did not agree with me this time, and I had to stop, this was December 2011. I was worried about the impending break out, but it didn't seem to come. I was taking flax and evening primrose to balance hormones, and also using DUAC, sparingly to counteract the break out I had on the pill. For most of last year my skin was clear, it stopped using DUAC every day and for six months things seemed great, no BCP, no topical and nice cream cleansers, nothing too astringent. I added bha and aha to my routine last summer and since then things have flared up again, first my chin, then my cheeks, now my forehead. I started...out of desperations using 10%bp on my cheek for some stubborn cysts...I know I know....it has totally ravage my skin, and subsequently my forehead broke out, which it hasn't done for years. Right now my skin feels dry but oily....my left hand side is still breaking out, and although the forehead outbreak has calmed down, it looks very congested, oily but dry. That is where I am at right now.
I feel like my face is crumbling, it's not the face I once had, even make up won't sit great. I'm depressed and feel dreadful. I need some hope, to believe that this will get better, I feel at 27, maybe this is it! My skincare routine has been all over the place, trying to sort this out, which probably hasn't helped. Right now I remove make up with micellar water, cleanse with Nivea refreshing face wash (no sls which is something, but every ingredient seems bad when you have acne). During the day I used Clinque gel moisturiser or Aevene light hydrating moisturiser. At night I mix a wee drop of rosehip/chia and evening primrose oil into my moisturiser and tone my skin with spring water. I have ordered some elemis products that helped before and sometimes the face wash can be quite drying. I also ordered some Sebamed clear face care gel, as I feel I need some sort of topical, but don't want anything too harsh. I also internally take turmeric, hyaluronic acid and a multi vitamin, along with St Johns Wort to combat my depression.
I am trying to stay strong, but it's hard. I just had to get it all out there, hopefully my future blogs will be more organised!
Thanks to anyone who read, and I am so glad this website lets you know that you are not alone, even though it really feels like that sometimes.