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Ellie's Blog

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Angry Angry



Well I had a lovely weekend and stayed relatively clear...however I got really angry on saturday night with my boyfriend and because he was drunk and feel asleep I had so much anger that didn't have an outlet which led to me taking it out on my skin. I was lucky that I was tired because I only have one disaster zone but jheez is it sore! There was a cluster of about 4 small clogged pores just above my eyebrow near my hairline and I really went to town on them, 2 came out no problem but the other 2 were persistent and unfortunately so was I. Yesterday wasn't too bad - they were oozing a bit but with my hair down they were sort of hidden but today my hair is up and it looks like I have a horn on my head!

I kept messing with them yesterday and so they are a big pussy mess and because they are so close together it just looks like one giant one! Also due to the messing they haven't scabbed properly so are really hard to conceal. I know that I have to leave them alone and they will be much better in a few days so I'm using aloe vera on them to relieve a bit of the pain and to make the skin tighter...tried neosporin overnight and that was a bad idea, it was like the whiteness of the cream was just absorbed under the skin and made it look like a huge whitehead!

I feel so bad about it...I don't feel as awful as normal because it's confined to one area but still feel really ashamed about doing it...moral of the story is buy a punching bag I think, although maybe a stress ball is a more realistic option! Hopefully tomorrow I'll just be left with the scab and the painful bump will have subsided slightly! Always a good reminder of why I need to leave my skin alone...if only it was that easy! This week the boyfriend is away on business so I'm a bit nervous because it's the first time I'll be on my own in the house for more than one night. Loneliness usually leads to picking, plus it's almost like when the cat's away the mice will play because he won't be there to tell me off!

So even though I'm stressing about this giant horn on my head, maybe it will serve as a reminder for the rest of the week so that I don't do any more damage whilst he is away...that's what I'll keep telling myself!


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