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Uncertain But Willing



Hey everyone, my name is Nicole (Well actually its my middle name, But id rather not disclose my first name quite yet) I am 15 years old and have been struggling with acne since I was in 7th grade.

I started getting minimal spots in 6th grade but the end of 8th is when it really kicked off. I have mild acne, its mostly scarring now with the occasional break outs, but its the blackheads im most worried about. Not only that but my moderate case of bacne.

My skin has literally taken over my life. I refuse to go swimming with my friends when they ask because im so embarrassed of my bacne. Being a young teenage girl I should love to go out with friends and have fun, but id much rather stay at home on the weekends. ive turned down countless sleepovers, parties, family/old friend visits you name it, just because of my skin. I know behind all of it im a very pretty girl. But its impossible waking up everyday and going to a school where all of my friends have crystal clear skin, or coming home and watching tv where I watch models flaunt pure perfection.

There were nights earlier this year where my acne was so bad i literally cried myself to sleep. I will miss days of school because it is just so bad. it makes me feel ugly and worthless. I cant even hold a proper conversation with someone because i avoid eye contact as much as possible. I am moving to Florida my junior year (about 8 months or so) and I would really like a new beginning. I dont want to walk into my new school and already have people avoid me just for what I look like.

Anywho, I dont want to make this to long, so basically im just your average, fun-loving teenager who has been brought down by this awful condition. I really have no one to talk about it with seeing as everyone i know has perfect skin and cannot relate, which is why i joined this forum and created this blog. I feel as if everyone on here knows or has experienced what I am going through, its kind of like one big family. Everynight i will record my progress and hopefully you will join me through this incredible journey, I hope to look back at this 5 months from now and see how much of an improvement in confidence accutane has helped me achieve.

As of today its only day 2 of my accutane journey. 40 mg a day. This is my last resort considering I have been on at least 4 other pills and 6 different topical creams prior. I have done countless hours of research and have found many mixed opinions on the drug, i am uncertain about it, but for the mean of having cover girl skin, i am willing to go through with this treatment. All I can say now is that I hope the oh so feared IB isnt so bad on me, and the dryness/chappedness is not either.



Recommended Comments

please use this:

5,000 iu vitamin d a day

-primrose oil 3,000 mg a day and apply it topically

throw away that accukill not worth it. smh

good luck! :)

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