I have mixed feelings - on one hand, she told me everything I already know - to improve my diet, take a multi-vitamin cocktail, to get more exercise and to take a month long hormone test because it sounds like I am deficient in progesterone. She agreed that saw palmetto could be overloading my body with estrogen. She also recommended therapy to deal with the emotional stuff - which she said can be a huge factor.
She recommended a therapist who practices Radix therapy - I'd never heard of it before, but read a bit and it's a body psychotherapy that supposedly removes blocked negative emotions. My gut is telling me I need this kind of therapy, as opposed to more talk therapy. Intellectually, I understand what is going on with me. I need something to tap into my subconscious to help me let go of all of my self destructive and sabotaging tendencies. Sooooo, I'm going to check it out. My insurance does not cover mental health, so I'll be paying for this out of pocket too.
So $500 later, I have a plan. I can't start the hormone test until my next period starts. I am to stop taking saw palmetto because it is probably interfering with my hormones. I am to start living and eating more healthily.
I know this is the right answer - I know my health is well worth the $500 bucks ($250 for the hormone test+ $175 dr visit + $65 for 1 month supply of vitamin cocktail). The truth is I was hoping for a quick fix - a magic pill to cure everything. But I also feel vaguely guilty, like I need to justify spending this much money on myself.
Talking to someone for over an hour about what is going on with me was a weird experience - I felt overwhelmed with emotions and started to cry. I don't really know why. Part of it is I am ashamed that I don't know how to take care of myself (which is me being hard on myself). Another part is admitting how vulnerable I am. And admitting how out of control my life is - I obsess over my skin way too much and it's hurting so many different facets of my life. Basically, for most of the month of October I got hardly any work done. I bailed on doing things with friends. I ignored emails. ( and over an email no one even knows that my face is broken out, yet I still ignored emails). Now I'm trying to catch up.
So I have a lot of work ahead of me. At first I was freaked out over the money I am going to have to spend, but in the larger scheme of things, it's really not that much. If anything, this financial commitment is going to force me to really try. BTW I don't want to dissuade anyone from going to a naturopath or spending money on doctors, whether it's a dermatologist or therapist or both. I've noticed that a lot of us are suffering in silence, feeling like we have to cure ourselves. There is nothing wrong with seeking professional help. There is nothing wrong with spending money for the sake of our health. Of course, all of this advice is already on the internet, so in a way I did waste my money. But it's done now. THe next step is to continue to explore this emotional stuff. I'd never heard of radix therapy so I am grateful she told me about it.
So yeah. I guess that's it for now.