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Have You Ever Asked Yourself "what Did I Do To Deserve Acne Like This?"

YoursTruly*Ashleigh

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I'm not to sure as to where to start. I'll begin by saying that my acne seems as if it began one day when I was washing my face after a workout and as my hands made their way to my jawline, I noticed multiple pustules and cystic like bumps. Initially, I was not alarmed. It's just a phase right?! Ha, if only! As the days went on, they began to get bigger, deeper and more painful. It was like watching a nightmare unfold in front of my own eyes on my face! I even began waking up thinking "I had the most awful dream..." until I made my way to the bathroom to realize that I was simply living the "awful dream." It continued to get worse and it was so crippling, I never ever sympathized with those whom had been suffering with acne. I thought the commercials were entirely melo-dramatic and just ridiculous. I thought those suffering from acne had bad hygiene, bad genetics or were simply too lazy or poor to afford decent products to maintain a facial cleaning regimen. Yes, I know...completely ignorant and somewhat shallow but I was uninformed and had never suffered personally so of course it was easy to make assumptions about something I had never suffered from.

Anyway, my acne is still pretty existent. Instead of continuing to be angry and bitter, I'm doing my best to stop socially isolating myself and becoming social again. I've been to the top dermatologists in the city, had my hormones tested, maintained usage of Minocycline pills and Tazorac, Epiduo, Benzaclin, Differin, and Acanya acne creams. And as you're all probably aware from personal experience, the tolerance builds over time and my body/skin has become unresponsive to the multiple pills and creams. I began dressing nicer and pulling out my nice Louis bags to uplift myself but it didn't work. I still looked in the mirror and wanted to put a gun in my mouth (not really, but I'm trying to emphasize my serious frustration.) As time went on, I began evaluating my stress level (college student) and diet. I will say that eliminating dairy has helped but I have a hard time dealing with all the hyperpigmentation that is still present all around my mouth and I will also mention, I'm still breaking out, just not as severe and often as I was.

About 2 weeks ago, I visited another dermatologist that was recommended by a dear friend of the family. It was so aggravating going to ANOTHER dermatologist that I knew was going to feed me the same useless, hopeless information as the last one. But my dad being the typical supportive parent, begged me to go, for him he said. So I thought "f*ck it, I have nothing else to lose, my life has already been interrupted and turned upside down by acne, what do I have to lose?!" Right?! Well, long story short, he suggested Accutane, which I am set to go back in for on the 12th of November. I'm very hesitant. Anything that would make a child come out THAT retarded has to be horrible for MY body if that's what it's doing to new life. I also look at my numerous friends and acquaintances that took it and I can't help but cringe and feel saddened by the fact that many of their faces look as if someone tap danced on it (their face) with a pair of football cleats... referring to the pits!!

My questions for you all in the acne community is:

What are your opinions on Accutane and it's correlation with pit marks on the face?

Has anyone else ever felt like they had normal skin until one day it just felt like your world was crumbling as acne slowly began residing on your face....only to continually get worse and worse?

If anyone has a personal experience to share, I'd love for you to share it!

Anyone else seen improvement after dropping dairy, also?

Thanks for reading my blog,

I'm new at this so go easy on me.

I look forward to your responses and/or suggestions.



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Sorry you feel that way, I certainly don't mean to offend anyone. if you're referring to my assumptions that I had prior to having acne, I should've clarified that it was how I felt when I was much younger and obviously, juvenile.

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I am having he exact same experience now! I just developed acne last year and it is unbelievably frustrating! I have tried diligently followed a similar routine consisting of antibiotics, hormones and tret-cream for the past year and there has been little to no change! I isolated myself socially as well for sometime but finally have realized that everyone has noticed that I have less then perfect skin so there is really no point in sitting around alone. I think that hardest part for anyone who just sporadically develops acne is to accept that they have it. Once you do, it gets a little easier but not really. I am still unrelentless in my mission to cure it. I wish you all the luck and I just wanted you to know that you are definitely not alone! And I do not find your writing offensive and understand your feelings!

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Well thanks for your response and kind words, Lily. Although I hate that other people have to go through this as well, it's also very comforting to know that people, such as yourself, suffer from the same crippling effects that acne can do physically and emotionally. I'm still on the fence in regard to Accutane, what about you?

I am having he exact same experience now! I just developed acne last year and it is unbelievably frustrating! I have tried diligently followed a similar routine consisting of antibiotics, hormones and tret-cream for the past year and there has been little to no change! I isolated myself socially as well for sometime but finally have realized that everyone has noticed that I have less then perfect skin so there is really no point in sitting around alone. I think that hardest part for anyone who just sporadically develops acne is to accept that they have it. Once you do, it gets a little easier but not really. I am still unrelentless in my mission to cure it. I wish you all the luck and I just wanted you to know that you are definitely not alone! And I do not find your writing offensive and understand your feelings!

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I can't go on Accutane because I was recently diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder (Antiphospholipid syndrome). Basically it is just a tendency to clot and someone in my physical condition can manage with just an aspirin a day. If i did not have APS i would have gone on it.

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