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Once You Have Cried A River.....

Picky Nicki

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Everything is in point form; I'm not done loathing myself.

- got home

  • looked into the mirror and LOST IT
  • Can't explain it, just got into a head space and nothing I did could wrench me out of it
  • FUCKED up my face.
  • And cried, and cried, and cried, and cried, and cried.
  • I disappointed everyone, including myself.
  • I OBLITERATED any progress I made as well as my self-esteem toward body image
  • I feel ugly, and so ashamed of myself.
  • the elastic snapping no longer works
  • and I have no idea how to make the inflammation go away quickly

I'm crawling under my covers and not leaving.

......

............

................

I'M SO TIRED OF FUCKING UP!! I DON'T WANT TO PICK ANYMORE!!! WHY CAN'T IT JUST CLEAR UP??

AND WHY CAN'T I STOP!?!?



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Nicky..look at me...you are not guilty of anything...to clear up a serious case of acne you need to take an anti-biotic. The only one that has ever worked for me is Amoxicillin. Go to a dermatologist and get into a regimen, any regimen will help your self-esteem. You deserve to be happy with a healthy complexion. I used to pick at my zits too. Sometimes I'd spend 45 minutes in the mirror locating pimples and popping all of them...then I'd be all scabby and get new zits anyway...That was the old me..I changed and you can too. Godbless.

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I'm so sorry that you're feeling so down about your skin. I really don't think it could be that bad. You have to cheer up. When you're more positive your stress levels go down and your acne will look so much better. I promise.

I've picked soo much and in the end you will always regret it and have scars to prove it. Sometimes it seems more satisfying to just pick but when you remember to times like this you should learn and grow from them. It can only do harm, chin up. I'm sure you'll find what works best for you.

You can do it.

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Nicky..look at me...you are not guilty of anything...to clear up a serious case of acne you need to take an anti-biotic. The only one that has ever worked for me is Amoxicillin. Go to a dermatologist and get into a regimen, any regimen will help your self-esteem. You deserve to be happy with a healthy complexion. I used to pick at my zits too. Sometimes I'd spend 45 minutes in the mirror locating pimples and popping all of them...then I'd be all scabby and get new zits anyway...That was the old me..I changed and you can too. Godbless.

Thank you so much for always being kind to me. I have scheduled an appointment within the next couples weeks and we'll see where that takes me. As well, I think I should take a look at some more "face-happy" make up options. My acne is mild, but I make it worse. And so the way to clear it up is to stop picking. I've been doing some research and I think that it might be connected to my current obsessive tendencies... I dunno, though. Maybe I should schedule a counselling session as well, to see if they have any tips and tricks.

Again thank you for your support. I know that my next post will be much more positive!

Till next time!

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