SO... I am breaking out again. My face is pretty much covered with acne scars and of course, newly formed acne. For the past month or so, have been getting papules/pustule/whiteheads almost everyday. As soon as one pimple is finally gone, another one will flare up. So in the end, my face is covered with many acne scars.
I am going on a vacation with my boyfriend tomorrow. He planned a surprise trip for me. I guess, I am excited. But on the other hand, it makes me feel so insecure knowing that I would be going on a vacation with horrible skin.
Anyways, I stopped using bp (again) and pretty much stopped using anything except for tea tree oil or dalacin-t for spot treatment. I don't mind dealing with the scars slowly. I mean, I've been through this and I know it takes a long time for the scars to disappear. I am willing to do this but it's very heartbreaking when I wake up everyday in the morning, knowing that, another pimple has been formed. I don't know what's wrong with me but I think my acne problem is primarily caused by my OILY SKIN.
I had combination skin when I was a teenager. It gets oily in the summer but it's nothing harmful. I used to wash my face with mild cleanser and that's pretty much it for my daily routine. I had one or two pimples here and there when I was younger but it wasn't an issue until I literally break out for the first time in university. I was desperate. I tried everything. That was the first time I had birth control pills. That didn't work for the long run. Then I tried DK's regimen. It worked for 2 years and stopped having effect.
Ever since that time, I have been struggling with acne on and off. Sometimes it gets really good that it's 95% clear. Some days like now, I break out like crazy with 95% of my face all covered with acne or scars. Slowly, by monitoring the location of the acne and the types of acne that I am getting nowadays. I think my acne problem is caused by my excessive oil production. My pores get clogged up very easily. My face is SO oily that I need to blot my face 30 minutes after I showered. But this makes sense though. I have been using really harsh products in the past 7-8 years or so, trying to minimize the effect of acne. Slowly, my skin learns to produce more oil to compensate for the dryness that has been caused by the harsh products. Now that I am no longer using harsh products, my skin continues to produce that amount of oil because it got used to it.
I am not sure if my skin will ever balance out itself. I am losing hope honestly. I am turning 26 and I am still suffering from acne. My friends are almost all acne free by now. I feel like an odd one when it comes to work and social gatherings. I don't know why I am even typing this entry now because there isn't really a point. I guess I just need an audience. BUT I will still try to enjoy life as it is. I mean, I am only 26. I don't want to be controlled by my acne. I want to be able to live life to its fullest when I am still young. =(