Blah, today sucks. . . well yesterday sucked too becaues just like clock work my face has broken out and I have dont nothing to help it. . . just picked the shit out of it which i know is wrong but in my sick head I always think it sounds like a good idea at the time. I have been really cutting back on my picking habit and when I dont do it I love my skin, then I squeeze a bump one night and then start everywhere else its a sick twisted cycle.
i know that by the end of this week/start of next my skin will have started to heal but Im sick of going through this whole process, I didnt even bother wearing concealer or foundation to work today I was that fed up, I know that we are all going through the same thing and some of us are on different programs, regimes, have differnt types of acne, different severity of acne - but at least we all know what it feels like to feel like you're the only one that understands the humiliation you go through.
I wish i was stronger and didnt care about it so much and didnt let it effect my plans for the week or who I'm going to see, or re routining my way to work so I dont pass certain stops, its exhausting.
Anyways, i just had to bitch b/c no one else around me wants to hear it haha
Just a little bit about my program - over the past four months of switched BC's which was promised to make my skin better (it didnt) and it made it worse I started getting large breakouts that would heal and then start again. So I am back on orth tricyclene which I have been on for years before going off of it for the past three months to try seasonale out. and my skin has greatly improved. My derm said i would experience an initial breakout b/c my body needed to adjust to the new hormone levels yadda yadda and she was right. I am thankful that the breakout isnt painful or cystic but its just a few red swollen papules and then a cluster of tiny red inflammed bumps on my right cheek by my mouth
I just feel hideous and it doesnt help when you work at a plastic surgeons office and advise people on their skin, ugh. I hate my job sometimes.
Anyways I know things will start to get back to normal once everything levels out so I am hopeful, just discouraged at the moment.
Here is my updated routine:
AM: Wash with Skin Ceuticals LHA Cleanser - Every other day apply thin layer of Obagi's Theraputic Lotion(soluble 5% BPO) - and moisturize with 100% organic jojoba oil. *some times I apply a thin layer of 100% organic aloe vera gel if I know its that time of the month! just for extra protection.
PM: If I wore a lot of make up that day I will precleanse with an Oil Based cleanser by Dermalogica called pre cleanse - then I will wash my face with Skin Ceuticals LHA cleanser - light layer of the obagi BPO again - spot treat larger areas if i have them with skin ceuticals blemish and age defense (1.5% salicylic acid) - then sleep with skin ceuticals clarifying clay mask on larger blemishes - and of course apply a nice helping of jojoba oil
Orally I rely on just BCP Orth TriCyclne as of late. The week I'm off the pill I take Dong Quai to keep my hormones balanced as well as evening primrose oil. I also take a daily mulitvitamin, flax seed oil, and acai berry. I do feel that it helps
Anyways, I will post pictures later on . . . someone give me something to smile about today . a funny story, picture, video, or can anyone relate?