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Im So Down I Dont Even Feel Like Writing



The title says it all. but i am going to write just to get out my feelings right now. I was cleaning out my room and found a picture of myself at age 16.. back in 2008 i belive, and my skin was a complete disaster. what made me so depressed now (aside from the fact that i went to the derm again just for a cleaning and more crap to use for my skin) is that NOTHING has changed in the almost 5 years since that picture was taken. NOTHING. im older, and my face is just as hideous. I feel hideous. I feel gross and ugly and boring because i dont want to go out and look in the mirror and feel ugly. i just am hating myself right now.


cheeks have calmed down alot. so yea youd think that would cheer me up, but the scars are whats bumming me out even more- because ive been through this before, and i know how it works. scars dont fade as quickly as the big bumps do. they linger on your cheeks for months and months until finally u can see maybe they arent that noticeable anymore and if you suck up enough confidence you can get out without makeup. but that takes months! and i dont have months now! i have only a couple of weeks until i go abroad to see all my friends who i havent seen in 6 months (last they saw me my skin was clear and those scars had faded enough for me to feel comfortable without makeup). now i have to go and face all these people that dont know me with acne and all of a sudden i have a face fulll of red marks. i really feel like crying all the time and i have to hold it cuz im afraid my emotions will cause another breakout. how much more Ridiculous can this become!?


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I feel your pain. I'm feeling the exact same way right now. It took me a good 3 years for my scars to fade away. I was finally comfortable not wearing make-up and it was great! just 6 months ago I had a terrible break-out that got worse and worse. Now I look like I did when I was on accutane. I have red scars everywhere and there's no way in hell I'll walk out of the house without make-up on. To make things worse, I'm just starting a new career and just moved to a new city. It's like all that hard work and all those medications were for nothing. I've decided to start looking at the problem from a more holistic standpoint. I'm just sick of medication. I've heard jojoba oil helps tremendously with redness and scarring. I just bought some. You might want to try natural remedies like that to heal your skin?

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Sorry you feel so bad. I know what you mean about feeling embarrassed when you see people you haven't seen for a while. Sometimes all I can think is "They're looking at my face, they're looking at my face...". I know the scars are hard to hide but try to see it as a positive thing - the acne itself is calming down. Maybe you could try a light mineral make-up if it would give you more confidence, you could just dust it on and it wouldtone down some of the red.

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thanks everyone. yea...this is not easy. nothing seems to be making it better. and now- im away for the weekend and forgot the epiduo (my topical medicine) which actually helped when i put it on at night to keep me from breaking out more...damnit whyd i have to do that!?

im so scared of leaving and seeing everyone again looking like this!

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