The title says it all. but i am going to write just to get out my feelings right now. I was cleaning out my room and found a picture of myself at age 16.. back in 2008 i belive, and my skin was a complete disaster. what made me so depressed now (aside from the fact that i went to the derm again just for a cleaning and more crap to use for my skin) is that NOTHING has changed in the almost 5 years since that picture was taken. NOTHING. im older, and my face is just as hideous. I feel hideous. I feel gross and ugly and boring because i dont want to go out and look in the mirror and feel ugly. i just am hating myself right now.
cheeks have calmed down alot. so yea youd think that would cheer me up, but the scars are whats bumming me out even more- because ive been through this before, and i know how it works. scars dont fade as quickly as the big bumps do. they linger on your cheeks for months and months until finally u can see maybe they arent that noticeable anymore and if you suck up enough confidence you can get out without makeup. but that takes months! and i dont have months now! i have only a couple of weeks until i go abroad to see all my friends who i havent seen in 6 months (last they saw me my skin was clear and those scars had faded enough for me to feel comfortable without makeup). now i have to go and face all these people that dont know me with acne and all of a sudden i have a face fulll of red marks. i really feel like crying all the time and i have to hold it cuz im afraid my emotions will cause another breakout. how much more Ridiculous can this become!?