Jump to content
Acne.org
Search In
Find results that contain...
Find results in...
  • entries
    16
  • comments
    28
  • views
    10623

Im So Down I Dont Even Feel Like Writing

Lola123

829 views

The title says it all. but i am going to write just to get out my feelings right now. I was cleaning out my room and found a picture of myself at age 16.. back in 2008 i belive, and my skin was a complete disaster. what made me so depressed now (aside from the fact that i went to the derm again just for a cleaning and more crap to use for my skin) is that NOTHING has changed in the almost 5 years since that picture was taken. NOTHING. im older, and my face is just as hideous. I feel hideous. I feel gross and ugly and boring because i dont want to go out and look in the mirror and feel ugly. i just am hating myself right now.

Update:

cheeks have calmed down alot. so yea youd think that would cheer me up, but the scars are whats bumming me out even more- because ive been through this before, and i know how it works. scars dont fade as quickly as the big bumps do. they linger on your cheeks for months and months until finally u can see maybe they arent that noticeable anymore and if you suck up enough confidence you can get out without makeup. but that takes months! and i dont have months now! i have only a couple of weeks until i go abroad to see all my friends who i havent seen in 6 months (last they saw me my skin was clear and those scars had faded enough for me to feel comfortable without makeup). now i have to go and face all these people that dont know me with acne and all of a sudden i have a face fulll of red marks. i really feel like crying all the time and i have to hold it cuz im afraid my emotions will cause another breakout. how much more Ridiculous can this become!?



4 Comments


Recommended Comments

I feel your pain. I'm feeling the exact same way right now. It took me a good 3 years for my scars to fade away. I was finally comfortable not wearing make-up and it was great! just 6 months ago I had a terrible break-out that got worse and worse. Now I look like I did when I was on accutane. I have red scars everywhere and there's no way in hell I'll walk out of the house without make-up on. To make things worse, I'm just starting a new career and just moved to a new city. It's like all that hard work and all those medications were for nothing. I've decided to start looking at the problem from a more holistic standpoint. I'm just sick of medication. I've heard jojoba oil helps tremendously with redness and scarring. I just bought some. You might want to try natural remedies like that to heal your skin?

Share this comment


Link to comment

Sorry you feel so bad. I know what you mean about feeling embarrassed when you see people you haven't seen for a while. Sometimes all I can think is "They're looking at my face, they're looking at my face...". I know the scars are hard to hide but try to see it as a positive thing - the acne itself is calming down. Maybe you could try a light mineral make-up if it would give you more confidence, you could just dust it on and it wouldtone down some of the red.

Share this comment


Link to comment

thanks everyone. yea...this is not easy. nothing seems to be making it better. and now- im away for the weekend and forgot the epiduo (my topical medicine) which actually helped when i put it on at night to keep me from breaking out more...damnit whyd i have to do that!?

im so scared of leaving and seeing everyone again looking like this!

Share this comment


Link to comment
Guest
Add a comment...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Personalized Advice Quiz - All of Acne.org in just a few minutes

×