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Not Much Of A Change...



Im three weeks in on birth control now. Not much of a change though. I finished my last final today and am back home. I know I shouldnt but I felt so embarrassed to see my family again with my face so broken out. Especially my sister who suffered from mild acne and went on accutane this year and has completely completely clear skin- im talking beautiful no scars oil free soft looking skin that I would die for. Im also really not looking forward to facing people back here who I havnt seen in awhile and who havnt seen me an dmy new ugly face. Yes- ugly. that is exactly how i feel all day every day now. Very ugly.


Still broken out with cysts and pimples all over my cheeks and chin. Forehead seems to always stay pretty clear for the most part (please g-d dont let that now be jinxed or so help me!). My back is still pretty bad which bugs the hell out of me because it really never has been before. Im going to the derm on friday for the first time in awhile... that office used to see me every other week and now its been almost 2 years since ive been back. what a g-d awful feeing that nothing has changed.

Still holding back on as much picking as possible so as not to cause more scaring when this hopefully does subside. wel see if that even works though cuz my face is already a big mess...

Im back to that I-Hate-Myself-And-How-I-Look faze. Hope it goes away soon.


Sorry you feel so bad. I know it sounds a bit patronising but other people never notice as much as you think. And even if they do notice, they notice all the attractive things about you as well. :)

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Thanks Ellie :) i do have to keep telling myself this. Yesterday I went to buy a new iphone case and the guy sold it to me for less because he "loved my blue eyes" that boosted my confidence.

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