so the last couple of days have not been good.
I mean I thought they were but I am not happy. I'm making myself unhappy by looking at pictures of when i was truly clear skinned and so much more confident! What a difference a whole load of scarring and acne does...happy days!!!
anyway, I look at these photos and i get jealous of myself! How bizarre is that?!?! I long for the days when I was that person who didnt have to worry about make up or anything to do with my face. I could wake up, tie my hair up and if i didnt wanna wear make up i didnt have to! I rely on it now. I am not a complete person until i put it on! how shit is that?! I am painfully aware of time and day and how long i need till i take my next dianette pill or my next set of vitamins or my morning and night face routine and i am sick of it.
I guess i am just having a rant because i am not in the mood to be patient or positive.
Looking at my face now i see a lump on the end of my chin which freaking hurts but doesnt have a head its just red.
my cheeks are going down but the scars. damn them.
i literally want it to be month five or six of dianette where i can finally expect to see change and just be confident...happier...go out with no make up again.
its month two of dianette and i am on my break and i only have two more days till i am back on it. One day...i tell myself...one day this will all be better...
i really shouldnt have looked at my old photos.