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Day 19 And Don't Want To Leave The House.



Sooo...my face is 342568 billion times worse than it was before. Oh gosh i cried when i put my makeup on this morning. I cried when i had to go to work.I cried when I found out we were having dinner at a friends. I cried all the way there. I cried when i saw my face in his bathroom mirror. Then i cried when i got home and washed my face. I look like a psycho hose-beast. Despite all the crying I'm not depressed, lol. Actually I have been in a better mood since the accutane because finally there's an end in sight. But it's just so hard to see your face and know that other people are seeing the same thing. I never had bad acne as a teen. Maybe 2 or 3 here and there but never this. It wasn't until i had my son 2 years ago that i started breaking out and since then it's steadily gotten worse. And now i know it's just the IB but wholy crap i look like a fat hairy elephant turd. It's not only the breakout but my skin is dry and peely, I'm pale white and it just looks unhealthy. I know the pics aren't flattering at all, but hopefully you can see what it's really like now and watch the tane do it's thang. I know its not the end of the world, actually maybe i don't. my hubby told me yesterday, "there are starving children in africa!" and I said well at least they don't have acne :/ that's terrible. Don't judge me starving african children. I'm having a rough time. Here's to a better (hopefully clearer) day tomorrow. And to all those of you out there who wish you could quit your job for the next six months and hole yourself up in your house, you're not alone.

PS check the gallery


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Hey don't get yourself down, your beautiful acne or without, Im 19 and have moderate to severe and haven't ever felt this depressed in a long time. I haven't been out the house in a month, and its getting to the stage now were i am getting used to it. Im on doxy tablets and a panoxyl facewash atm but no improvements after 10 days. And dont worry, I have said that plenty of times about people who are poorer than me lol. Hang in there, there is an end in sight, just remember its not just on the outside thats the problem, its internally the most. Maybe you need to cut dairy and gluten out to see if that helps :) I am doing a food intolerance test very soon to see what foods may cause me to break out, milk being a big one.

Keep us posted and don't ever let it control you, your stronger than it.


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I know I've said this to others and I know beyond doubt that it's hypocritical when I consider how I reacted to my skin over the years - even when, retrospectively, it wasn't bad at all - but I'm telling the truth when I say that I'm looking at your pictures and I'm looking beyond your acne. It's like, okay, I've seen it, moving on to more important things. What's more important is you and who you are as a person. Don't forget that.. I'd like to think that everyone thinks that way and I'd like to think that we'd all be able to keep things in perspective rather than convince ourselves that people see us the way we see ourselves. I guess it's true that we're all our own worst critics.

As the genius known as Butt-Head once said... it's okay to cry, crying takes the sad out of you. :P

Do try and stay positive though, make sure you do things to keep your spirits up.

I hope that by the end of the course, you can look back at these pictures and see how far you've come and that you'll have clear skin by that point. Fingers crossed! :)

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Thanks :) I've actually never once had my derm suggest i cut certain foods out of my diet. Maybe i should try that, what should i ask my doctor iuf that's something i wanted to consider?

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Thanks :) I've actually never once had my derm suggest i cut certain foods out of my diet. Maybe i should try that, what should i ask my doctor iuf that's something i wanted to consider?

When I talked to my doctor about it, I mentioned that I noticed patterns in my breakouts. My diet at the weekend would be different (worse) compared to during the week, then I'd always be broken out by Tuesday. That would calm down by the weekend, only to flare up again by the following Tuesday. Amazes me to think that I never saw the connection. It took me twelve years to notice where there was a pattern. Guess I'm just a bit slow! :lol:

When I talked about the pattern, he said I could get an intolerance test. I took one at my local hospital. Obviously that could be something you could discuss with your doctor and see if it's feasible.

My list was kind of long but a lot of the stuff on there I didn't eat anyway. Top of my list was boiled milk (used to have that daily in hot chocolate), and also cooked/melted cheese. Never noticed how much cheese I ate until I cut it out in that form. Oh, how I miss pizza! I also cut out all processed foods. Reduced overly spicy foods as much as possible (inflammatory) and tried to reduce my intake of gluten and dairy in general.

Once I did that, I broke the pattern. Especially over the weekends, it's been so noticeable since I took the test last December, how I'm not breaking out every Monday and Tuesday like I used to. Even without antibiotics - just finished tapering off a seven month course of Doxycycline - things have still remained calm.

It's different for everyone but for me, the foods I was intolerant of were causing my acne. I guess because I was eating them all the time and my body wasn't processing it properly, the toxins produced acne. It's the bodies way of trying to show us something isn't right internally. All I'd really been doing with the antibiotics for half my life was masking the physical symptom. I wasn't treating the root cause.

Like I said, that's only my experience and by no means am I any kind of authority on it, but it might be of some use and give you another option to look at. Always worth covering all bases and checking as much as possible off the list because the more things we try, the closer we get to the solution.


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Thanks so much for the info, the only thing i noticed is that when i eat alot of salsa (which i do, and i like it extra spicy :) that i tend to be broken out in the morning. I'll definitely talk to my doc and ask to take the test.

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