[Regimen Day 8]
Or... Why am I so crazy?
I'm gonna try not to get too down on myself here and try and just chug my water, because I broke a few promises I outlined in an effort to exert more control over myself last night in the 'note on wheat' comment.
4/2/2012 - Diet
- Leftover brown rice, quinoa and kale with Bragg's liquid amino acids (so good) and a little lemon hummus mixed in (good girl!)
- Herbalife allergy-free shake with ice, unsweetened almond milk, and cocoa
- Four slices of.......... pizza........
- A little bday cake I made for grandma (2/3 gluten free, avocado 'frosting', plenty of sugar and cocoa but whatever it was good)
So, ya know, this whole diet thing is obviously tough. What I ran up against today is the same as yesterday, which is just very intense nausea all day as well as some extreme bowel issues. I'm not sure if this is a little virus or what, but I'm putting my bet on discontinuation symptoms from this antidepressant I had been taking since February called Pristiq. Symptoms can be nausea, dizziness and a host of other terrible things. It's pretty rough, day 3 off this med, but I'm managing the best I can. I know this is all pretty unrelated to acne, but anyways. Here's the deal: my skin looks great in the mornings, red marks pale and bumps flattened and usually by the end of each day things look worse without necessarily getting worse - they just look that way.
Regimen is tough, I'm moisturizing and down to BP spot treatment post moisturizing once a day still.
Today I picked... I picked A LOT!!! I picked at every little thing, and then some. It was satisfying. Ugh. I know, I know. It's bad. I'm going to attach pix from my post-picking so you can see how red and blotchy I made my face, and I am posing with this cake which I am eating with my bare hands in bed. Glamour!
Sugar, gluten, picking your face and cheese pizza... all these things are purportedly BAD for your skin. I'm 28 and don't I know it. But this is MY BLOG, and I can do what I want.
It's hard enough managing going off psychiatric meds, then blabbing about it on the internet while trying to feel better about still having acne now that I'm so not a teen anymore.
Gonna just chill, take some more deep breaths, and forgive myself for I know not what I do...SIKE. I tooootally know what I'm doing, and obviously it ain't pretty. But the point is, tomorrow is another day. This nausea sucks, and weaning off meds sucks, not having a job sucks, and having acne is THE WORST OF ALL SUCKY-NESS - (actually, losing loved ones is way worse, now that I think of it). But anyways. Yadda yadda. Despite all these cheats and diversions, mad face rummaging and sugar up the wazoo - I think the regimen may just be working, albeit slowly.
It's good not to be totally perfect whilst conducting these scientific experiments on one's self. How else could I isolate the causes of success =/not= DKR without the occasional slice of pizza or birthday cake? (The picking, on the other hand...that's just something that's got to go, no matter what... and it's something I'll have to keep working on like an alcoholic in AA, 'one day at a time...')