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From ' Bubonic Plague' To ' I'm 19 And Look Like Edward James Olmos.'

LozaEre

3,168 views

I've had acne since I was a preteen. I am now in university. I'm 21. And I'm just slightly sick of it.

Bad things that have come from acne: Massive lack of self-confidence when young, self-consciousness, and overwhelming desire to live life under a paper bag.

Good things that have come from acne: Learning to find appreciation in things other than just appearance, build-up of self-confidence as I learn to not give two shits what other people think of my face, and the desire to say 'fuck you' to the world so as to live life happily no matter what I look like.

What I have: Scars on my face, zits on my cheeks, cystic ickiness on my jawline and neck, and cystic bacne. Acne for me comes in cycles. It goes from 'feels smooth-ish and looks fine with make-up/under hair' to various stages of 'oh Lord I have the plague' and 'fucking Hell why that ONE GIANT ZIT in a place where it is absolutely IMPOSSIBLE TO HIDE?'

Things that make it worse: Cheese, onions, sugar, chocolate, stress, no sleep, not drinking enough, not eating right, school, finals, people dying, the way my fingers pick at my face.

Things that worked for a little while: Pro-Activ, BP soap, random other shit.

Things that worked for a long term but I have not been able to keep up: Chinese acupuncture, herbal pills, and skin cream.

So. I'm going to try the Regimen on this site for a while and see how it goes. smile.png



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Good luck with the regimen! smile.png

My acne was often pretty mild and no two cases are the same anyway, but the best results I've seen in terms of clearing active acne came from avoiding the foods which trigger it for me, increasing my supplement intake and not picking my skin or popping pimples. That last one is vital I think, which is probably why it was the hardest of my thirteen year habits to break.

Sounds like you're on the right track with being aware of your triggers and knowing that it's best to not pick. At least if that breaks the cycles of active acne, you can get a better idea of what is left in terms of scars and so on and whether you want to do anything to rectify them. I looked at your pictures and it seems like you've come a long way though to be fair, even if your skin has gone through various stages.

And I've got to say, I really admire your "I don't care" attitude because that's something I was never able to do. Even the mild acne was enough to shoot an already fragile self-esteem to pieces so it didn't take much to make me want to hide away, which is what I did quite a lot between 13 and 26, so all credit to you for battling on and recognising the need to make the most of life. Keep it up! smile.png

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Thanks! :)

I definitely agree with the picking - it leads to scarring and all sorts of awfulness, as I now am a walking PSA for. It's just so horridly tempting - the immediate effect is a sort of stupid, vicious satisfaction. I'm surprised acne doesn't make more people into mad axemen, to be quite frank.

And even if it gets bad (and I'm not even going to talk about my jawline) still, I do have at least a vague grip on how to keep it from getting as awful as it once was. Diet and clove oil, lately.

I totally hear you on the self-esteem issue - I was an insecure kid already, and this did not help. That Anna Nalick song about hiding your head in a paper bag was practically my theme tune. Even today, I cover my cheeks with my hair, occasionally wear make-up, fix it in iPhoto, etc. But the thing is: 1) Feeling afraid makes me feel angry, and baring skin without giving a shit was like a big defiant 'fuck you.' 2) It's just such a fucking hassle to care all the time. Seriously, it's not even practical. And it's other people's problem, not ours. 3) I managed to develop a mentality that was half cynical 'this is as good as it's gonna get' and half 'whatever, I'm hot today.' I just find that once one is past the purple oozy disgusting phase and it's just SCARS EVERYWHERE GAH, you might as well own that shit and strut. For all we know, we only live once, and life is too short to spend hiding.

Best of luck! :)

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I'm too lazy to put the amount of effort I assume it would take into becoming a crazed axeman, which is probably a relief for the people around me... :D I used to take it out on myself instead, with my face being the main target. That definitely was stupid because of course, that only made the problem worse for longer. There was indeed some satisfaction there and so it became a habit. I used to find that if ever I was anxious or feeling inferior to everyone - perhaps even due to just a few stupid pimples - There was some kind of calming release to be gained from picking. Very strange. I feel extremely lucky that I've gotten away with it, in terms of lasting damage, and even luckier than I did eventually manage to break that vicious cycle.

I really do admire that defiant attitude because I think it takes a lot of guts. After all, it's probably goes against what you'd rather do and it's certainly the hardest thing to do when hiding away can sometimes seem like an easy, quick fix. You're doing things the right way though because I learned first hand that it's more damaging in the long run if you hide away and let life pass by.

I just saw the topic you started about the acne on your back. That's something I have no direct experience of so can't relate, but I really do feel you because that doesn't look comfortable at all. Here's hoping that there are other members who can share their thoughts and experiences with you and perhaps give you some ideas as to what you could try to bring that under control. Fingers crossed for you. :)

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