It's been almost two weeks since finishing accutane and I wish I could say it's been brilliant but it hasn't. On Christmas Eve, a few days before I was planned to take my last pill, I got a spot. I couldn't believe my luck, weeks and weeks with clear skin and I suddenly had a massive one between my eyes a day before Christmas. That one burst and was drying up by Boxing Day, and then a few days later I got another one. Now I've officially been off my accutane for almost two weeks and yesterday I felt another spot emerging on my chin. I covered it in Retin-A and it seems to have went down a little but I can't believe that they're still popping up I see my Dermatologist at the end of this month so she can check how I'm doing, but the last time I saw her she said she wouldn't put me back on accutane if they started coming back by the time I saw her because my body would need a break (which I don't understand, surely it would be better for me to go on for an extra 2 months than wait a few months and go back on it for another 4 months). I'm so upset and angry, I've cried almost every day, normally when I'm trying to get to sleep and I start thinking about stuff. I've felt so down over the Christmas; where normally people would put on a few pounds over the festive season I've lost 4 or 5lb. I don't really know how but I have been exercising more in an attempt to de-stress and I've lost my appetite. Whenever I feel a spot coming up I find myself feeling down and sick. I have three scabs from past spots on my face and I know there's gonna be more to come. I feel so hopeless, if it's only been a few weeks since stopping accutane, what about in a month? A year? I'm going to be back to square one. I could see the finishing line on the horizon, I could almost touch it, and acne is dragging me away from it. I've found myself having very disturbing nightmares, and reality isn't much brighter; I feel I can't get away. Whenever I have a day feeling confident the next day my body seems to compensate by making a spot appear and making me feel like crap, like I'm not allowed to ever feel good about myself and I'm always going to be ugly. I feel insecure, not knowing whether these spots are a temporary glitch or an inevitable future. I think I need to talk to a specialist or someone because I'm so low at the moment. I'm not a religious person at all, yet I've found myself praying in my head whenever I cry, asking for them to disappear. Sorry for the depressing rant but I just needed to get it all out. Nobody understands how I feel at home because nobody has had acne like me, but I know here lots of people are in the same boat.