I once felt small...then I realised I was following a casually dressed basketball team.
So today I went jogging. I'm pretty sure I resemble an orangutan when I run. All legs and long arms. In fact, I think I'll just call my jogging: lanking or alternatively 'rangutannin' (that has quite a nice ring to it). So I went 'rangutannin' with my super fit surfing friends, and nearly died. I was short of breath within about 500m. Granted it was all up-hill. But these days, whenever I do strenuous exercise, I get really nauseous and short of breath and feel like my heart is firmly lodged in my superior oesaphagus. I should probably get that checked out (high blood pressure?) but she'll be right mate! Anyway, they probably ran twice the distance that I did. I should be a fat man; then I could make thousands of self-deprecating jokes about changing light globes while crushing "weak-ass" chairs. I could shop at Big and Tall. That has always been a life-long dream of mine. I could even legitimately purchase a pair of suspenders, I'm thinking something with piano keys. I would feel at home at Sizzlers and actually eat an indecent amount of food. Sit on a plane and claim the seat is too small, then get upgraded to first class. But who knows, I could have this to look forward to in middle age. My dad is quite well girthed.
Today, I ate popcorn. Popcorn has now become my favourite snack. For about $4 I can make at least 10 rounds of buttery, salty goodness. Such value for money. Such deliciousness. My inner jew is jumping with glee. I just don't know why I haven't had home-made popcorn in such a long time. I'm feeling ripped off, deprived of a deeper purpose to my life. My life mission statement needs to be adjusted: to eat more home-made popcorn than anyone else (and do other stuff too). I'm notorious for eating popcorn for dinner, with a side of M&Ms, as I like both junk food groups to be covered in the one meal! It's all about efficiency really.
Speaking of efficiency, I actually did some more cleaning today. The kitchen and living area have been swept, the pile of "high" dishes done. What an accomplishment. I feel like I'm turning into a better person with all these chores. I even had several Mary Poppin's moments, "And every task you undertake becomes a piece of cake" - it was all mostly in the hope that cake would appear - sadly no such luck. I feel lied to. I also dabbled at some piano, and spent an amazing amount of time on this website. Watched a little more Shameless. Read through real estate websites and thoroughly succeeded in avoiding all forms of study.
I skipped my regimen last night. No breakouts. I'll have to remember tonight. Otherwise Dan may appear in my dreams and show me the sins of my past, and how this has effected my skin (in some sort of Dickens cum Wilde hybrid super dream) but mostly he'd sound like the Wizard of Oz, and tell me that I only need to apply BP again and I'd be able to go home.
I'll leave you with a local band by the name of The Jungle Giants. My sister (the one that is a year younger than me) dated the vocalist. But mostly I just really love the video clip (I love toast shaped people!):