Had my derm appointment and instead of seeing the doctor I usually see I saw the professor of Dermatology. He asked how I was doing with the side-effects, and before I could say anything he blurted "you look a bit depressed!". Someone else said I looked down the other day, and I am, but I don't intentionally show it so I don't understand what I'm doing that gives it away. It's not like I'm sitting with black eyeliner smudged down my cheeks whilst slicing my wrists with an expressionless face. He gave me the choice of upping my dose or keeping it the same and I really didn't know what to do. I seem to be getting spots again, big painful ones, but he said that was normal. I wanted him to decide for me but he said it was my choice (I hate making decisions!) He didn't mention how much he'd raise the dose, but he did say the side-effects would be worse. He also said if I stick to 30 the side-effects will calm down a little eventually. I finally decided to stick with my 30mg, but I left feeling really upset (just for a change. I blame the hormones...again) because he mentioned I'd be on 6-8 months. Ok, 6, not too bad, but 8-that's seems so long, close to a year on drugs for spots, it seems ridiculous but I've been on antibiotics for longer so I shouldn't be such a drama queen. I think part of me still expects it to cure my skin overnight, and I'm not the most patient person so it's hard to grasp that I need to wait even longer.
A nurse approached me just as I was leaving and asked me to take part in a study called 'a case-control study for genotype phenotype associations in severe acne vulgaris'. I agreed, and basically next month when I'm getting my check-up and pregnancy test I have to give a saliva or blood sample (which made me wonder, why would you choose to have blood extracted from you with a needle rather than wipe a swab through your mouth? Must be more masochists around than we thought) and also go through a interview where they ask you questions like how much your life has been affected by having acne etc. I'm quite excited, it'll feel good to help towards finding better treatments for acne in the future.
Also, acne vulgaris. VULGARIS?! Surely they should have something a little more confident boosting, seeing as the condition itself detracts so much from self-worth? Acne sexiibabi3hawthawtbootaaay is a much better candidate. And it has such a latinate twang about it.