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Done Feeling Sorry For Myself?

ambchick

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So I've found that wearing coverup on my acne makes me feel a little bit better. I have had about 3 meltdowns this week over various things regarding my skin, and I am stopping myself right now for a matter of reasons.I have been looking back on old photgraphs on my skin a few years ago, right before I went on accutane,and right after. The results were fabulous, and therefore I am forcing myself to believe that they will be just as good when I'm done accutane my second time, especially because I will be on a higher dose.I have no right to feel sorry for myself considering so many other people in the world have much worse problems then I do, things that can't be changed, and I am lucky enough to have my problem potentially be removed forever. I think I am doing better with trying to be optimistic, but these mood swings have been very stressfull. It has taken quite a toll on my relationships with my parents especially because it tires them out to see me miserable all the time. I am just going to focus, for the next 12 days, completley on how excited I am for my medicine, knowing that every day I am one step closer to having beautiful skin, and a normal life. I am not going to pick my face, and I am going to drink alot of water. I'm going to get excited, buy cetaphil face wash, cera ve moisturizer, and a shitload of aquaphor for my lips, and know that I am a good person despite how acne has affected who I am. I will let this make me a better person, and help other people who have gone through it too.



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Great post! Good for you! hifive.gif

I just saw your other entry about dysmorphia. In all honesty, I hadn't really known of it until about four or five months ago. I read an article about it on a Facebook group I follow and the author of the article got in touch with me. She's been struggling with dysmorphia for several years and that's got kind of worse as her skin's actually got better and better this year. I could really relate to that because I felt worse and worse about myself and my shortcomings/lack of experiences/lack of confidence when my skin started to improve too. The two of us have formed a pretty good friendship in recent months, even though I'm in England and she's in Canada, and it's so good to have something positive come out of something horrible. I mean, it's a win-win situation because we're better people for our experiences anyway, and we're also bonding by helping each other beat the stuff we're battling.

As far as dysmorphia goes, to me, it's essentially about not being able to see what we actually look like. I reckon that's totally logical, almost like an occupational hazard of acne, so to speak. I mean, if our skin can change on a weekly or maybe an almost daily basis and we're never totally sure what it's going to look like when we get out of bed in a morning or how it will look by the time we go to bed that night, there's no wonder we struggle to grasp what it actually looks like. I don't even remember a time when I didn't wonder what my skin was in one constant (good) condition.

Like you say, all the acne stuff ultimately can make us better people. I really think there's a level of understanding and empathy which we wouldn't otherwise have. And when you think that by the time your skin's clear and you can add confidence and happiness to those qualities, it'll be like a whole new world opening up to you. I like to think that's the way I'm heading right now (as long as I can get a few areas of my life back on track) and I hope we can all get there in the end as well.

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Great post! Good for you! hifive.gif I just saw your other entry about dysmorphia. In all honesty, I hadn't really known of it until about four or five months ago. I read an article about it on a Facebook group I follow and the author of the article got in touch with me. She's been struggling with dysmorphia for several years and that's got kind of worse as her skin's actually got better and better this year. I could really relate to that because I felt worse and worse about myself and my shortcomings/lack of experiences/lack of confidence when my skin started to improve too. The two of us have formed a pretty good friendship in recent months, even though I'm in England and she's in Canada, and it's so good to have something positive come out of something horrible. I mean, it's a win-win situation because we're better people for our experiences anyway, and we're also bonding by helping each other beat the stuff we're battling. As far as dysmorphia goes, to me, it's essentially about not being able to see what we actually look like. I reckon that's totally logical, almost like an occupational hazard of acne, so to speak. I mean, if our skin can change on a weekly or maybe an almost daily basis and we're never totally sure what it's going to look like when we get out of bed in a morning or how it will look by the time we go to bed that night, there's no wonder we struggle to grasp what it actually looks like. I don't even remember a time when I didn't wonder what my skin was in one constant (good) condition. Like you say, all the acne stuff ultimately can make us better people. I really think there's a level of understanding and empathy which we wouldn't otherwise have. And when you think that by the time your skin's clear and you can add confidence and happiness to those qualities, it'll be like a whole new world opening up to you. I like to think that's the way I'm heading right now (as long as I can get a few areas of my life back on track) and I hope we can all get there in the end as well.

You are quite possibly my favorite person ever! You always know just what to say to keep me going, I always look forward to reading your comments :) How has life been for you lately? I hope it has been good to you because you deserve wonderful things in your life? I also noticed you are from England, I am an obsessive freak when it comes to princess diana, she is my hero. i would love to fly there one day and be able to visitt kensington palace and stuff! Have you ever been there? haha. And as for the dysmorphia, it exhausts me because whenever i pick at my face or something or when my skin is really terrible, i wonder if it will ever be able to fully heal itself you know? Like its impossible to keep track of all the things i have ever done to my face but sometimes i wish i could know if it will heal itself over and over again. I am anxious to see how my face will look once i am done my accutane. I think your progress with youre skin has been incredible, and I love that you are always making an honest effort to look on the bright side! Keep up the great work, and never stop loving who you are! Hope to hear from you soon friend! :D

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I haven't been anyone's favourite person before - I'm honoured!

I'm doing alright, thank you, better than I was. My skin's not as good as it was at the start of the week but it's no big deal. It's good timing in a way, the slight backwards step is giving me a chance to try out a new approach. I'm trying not to care and I'm trying not to make it worse. I was wondering which of those two things was most important but I think they're linked together. I mean, if I care about it then I'm thinking about it and I end up in front of the mirror. If I'm in front of the mirror, it never ends well. If I lived in my own place, I reckon I'd remove the mirrors and only use one when actually needed. I can't really do that here, don't suppose my parents would appreciate it if I got rid of the mirrors in their house! eusa_shifty.gif

Haven't got much going on this week, not until the weekend anyway. I went to my first ever group therapy session yesterday. I was kind of nervous about that but it was fine. Looking forward to the rest of the sessions. Seems like it's going to be one of those things where I'll only get out of it whatever I put in, so if I really want to beat this depression and all, find some confidence and a bit of inspiration to create a happy like for myself and start to like being me, I'm definitely going to have to give it my best shot.

It's just not especially pleasant having to face up to stuff, you know, like I've got to bring up bad experiences and get to the root of my fears and things... got to be done I suppose. Glad I signed up to the sessions though and I was really happy when I got home after yesterdays - even gave it its very own blog entry! lol.gif

Yeah, I'm in Sheffield which is just over a couple of hours north of London. Always amuses me when I refer to geography of England in relation to America because this place is tiny by comparison. The vastness of your part of the world really blows my mind. I've been down to London and done all the tourist spots, and also lots of interesting places which are kind of off the beaten track. But you have to do all the major places like Buckingham Palace and so on, rude not to really.

It's interesting about Princess Diana, I don't think we ever quite realised the kind of person she was and the amount of time she gave to others until she was taken away. I'll always remember that because she died on my 12th Birthday. Mmmm... I didn't really get much attention on that particular Birthday!

You should aim to fly over to England one day, it's a beautiful place to visit, even if I do so so myself. Give me a shout if you ever need a tour guide!

Having said that, there are lots of places I haven't visited yet, but I suppose that's how it goes; we don't tend to admire the stuff that's right on our doorstep quite as much as we might other countries. Funnily enough, I'm hoping that if I can get myself together and have things running smoothly next year, I'd like to do a bit of travelling. I'd like to go to Canada first and then take it from there.

What you were saying about how your skin will heal... don't worry yourself too much about that. Not for anyway, be a waste of energy given that you can't really influence it one way or the other until you see how things will play out on Accutane. You can of course help your cause by avoiding picking as much as possible, but I'm sure you already know that. For what it's worth, I've picked the holy hell out of my skin over the last 13 years. Honestly, I mean, every single thing, time and time again. Maybe I got away with and I've no idea how, but if my skin can come out of the other side and show next to no signs of the abuse I've given it, I reckon you'll do alright. Speaking of my skin, there's another first - nobody as ever described anything relating to my skin as "incredible" before. Now you're starting to become my favourite person! wub.png

Anyway, I'll quit rambling, be here all day otherwise! Hope you're doing alright and having a good evening, keep that positivity going. Just think, the wait is almost down into single figures!

Paul smile.png

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i'm on the road to recovery, after going off my medication. I wanted to treat my hormonal acne ''naturally''. Big mistake.

I too have been crying everyday for the past 2 months. I've had two breakdowns at work, in my car at the traffic lights, and even at Myer shopping mall. Yeah really not good emotionally. Its a long road to recovery. My aunty gave me a talking to today and said ''turn this into a blessing, you will come out stronger. You know what its like to have something, and u can help ppl now''. I am also sensetive to ppls condition and its the last thing i notice. Keep up the good work :-))

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i'm on the road to recovery, after going off my medication. I wanted to treat my hormonal acne ''naturally''. Big mistake.I too have been crying everyday for the past 2 months. I've had two breakdowns at work, in my car at the traffic lights, and even at Myer shopping mall. Yeah really not good emotionally. Its a long road to recovery. My aunty gave me a talking to today and said ''turn this into a blessing, you will come out stronger. You know what its like to have something, and u can help ppl now''. I am also sensetive to ppls condition and its the last thing i notice. Keep up the good work :-))

I know whar you mean. I have trouble keeping myself together quite often, but that which does not kill us only makes us stronger, and I also think it makes us more humble, which is always good. Stay strong and we will get through this together!

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