Not much happening, sat up on the middle-of-the-week hump known as Wednesday, although I did jump down off the aforementioned hump this afternoon to go to my first group therapy session. Today, I learned that you have to try and take a light-hearted approach to these things because spending two hours in a room with a group of depressed people can be a bit, well, depressing!
Mainly, I was just happy to have somewhere to go, a few new people to talk to. I miss that and feel pretty out of touch. I don't suppose I was ever really in touch, socially, but I miss having what little contact I did have with people when I was working.
It was nice to get to know a few people as well. We split off into pairs to make it a bit easier at first. I got talking to a girl called Michelle, kind of felt sorry for her in a way as she's the only girl in the group. I think we all went into the session feeling like we were the only ones dealing with depression and it wouldn't have been fair if she had felt kind of on her own in the group too, as all the guys instantly started to pair up.
I found myself feeling rather saddened by the stories I heard; each person in the group touching on their issues and the things they're held back from in life as a result. It upsets me to see people who aren't reaching their full potential when they clearly want to. The ironic thing is, I'm in the very same position! I don't know, I just feel this need to want to listen and help people, Kind of strange to be on the other side of that and let people help me.
I reckon I know the cycle I'm in, I know what my triggers are and I know what needs to be done to stop it. It's the fear of putting it all into action which stops me because I've no belief in myself. I kind of feel like my very own therapist once I start thinking about it, feel pretty connected to what's going on in my mind I suppose.
I reckon what I really need is a life coach; someone to bring out the best in me. I need Mickey from the Rocky movies. Rocky didn't have a clue what he was doing before Mickey took charge, he turned Rocky into a world champion. Not that I want to be a boxer, but if that just sort of happened and I become world champion, don't suppose I'd mind that.
What I also need to do is not give a shit about my skin. That's it, bottom line. Just not care about it because I can't imagine that anyone else really does. And anyone who does have an issue with it wouldn't be worth knowing anyway. That was proven to me in school by all the morons who decided to bully me about it. I should have realised at the time that they only mattered because I let them. They shouldn't matter anymore and I certainly should be letting the past hold me back like that.
It's easy for me to say this right now of course, my skin's looking good. Wait and see if it kicks off again, then see if I change my tune...
Not much else to report really. Oh, I've been tasked with cooking lunch for the family on Sunday. My sister's decided to invite everyone over, only I'll be staying there at the weekend so I've got to help cook. I reckon we should just order pizza.
The night before, commonly known as Saturday, I'll be taking pictures of Britney Spears. Her tour rolls into Sheffield and I decided get myself a pass and put my camera through its paces. Meh, something to do I guess...